Five Months

A few days ago marked both five months post op from the hip surgery and also one year post op from the last pelvic surgery.  I no longer have any idea how many weeks post op from the hip surgery I am--lost track of that quite some time ago.  I am still so grateful with how well both of these surgeries went and how recovery went for the one a year ago and how well the hip recovery is still going thus far! I had such hard recoveries with prior surgeries that these have been a pleasant surprise in comparison.  The hip surgery is a really long recovery and it is taxing my patience at times, but that is not even the recovery itself so much as the side challenges that keep coming up.

Things have been sort of up and down lately.  The injection for the non op hip is fully in effect and that hip feels normal--no pain and it will finally handle exercises!  At three months post op I had been told my op hip was now the good hip.  However, once we finally got the non op hip calmed down with the injection, now the hips sort of seem to be taking turns with which one is best.  The non op hip has fewer issues over all than the op hip, but the non op hip is still weaker than the op hip.  It is amazing how fast strength is lost.  There are also times that both hips feel "normal" (whatever that is), and I totally forget I even have hip issues!

I had been told to take a break from walking three months ago or so after the non op hip was being so recalcitrant and we could not get it to calm down no matter what we tried. I was then cleared to try walking again once the injection was taking effect, but then got hit with the adverse reaction to a new medication and that knocked things back another couple of weeks with rehab.  This week I finally got to try walking for exercise again!  I was told to start with only five minutes and if that went OK to increase to ten minutes.  I did 1/4 mile on the track to start--it was actually almost 7 minutes, but went fine, tried again a couple of days later and down to 5.5 minutes so tried longer distance a couple of days later and managed 10.5 minutes and an entire half mile!  And, neither hip hurt at all!  First time since long before surgery! It is nowhere the pace or duration I could do prior to hip issues, but I am so grateful to finally get to try walking again other than just what was essential to get from place to place.  Definitely progress!

Things have been slipping and more discouraging again on other fronts.  I am choosing to focus and be grateful for what is going well and not worry about the rest.

Copied from what I wrote a few days ago:

The hip surgery is a long, long recovery. It is going well overall, but it can be hard to be patient. I keep reminding myself that this is not a race to see how fast I can recover but a journey to see how well I can recover. This reminds me of my walk with the Lord, as well. He is molding me more into His image in His way and His time. I need to be patient and not try to rush the process. If the process includes pain and illness, then I need to view these as His gift to me and be grateful for them. His grace is more than sufficient.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.

Festive Sweet Potatoes

This is one of my favorite holiday recipes.  I think cranberries make things look festive. I managed to lose the original recipe and had modified it anyway, so just go by memory, thus it is probably a little different each time I make it.  Below is what I did this time.

Sweet Potato Casserole

~4 lb sweet potatoes (I think this was closer to 4.5 lb)

1 red apple (I think I used Fuji because that was what I had)

1 12-oz pkg cranberries

1/4 c honey

cinnamon

-Scrub, cut up, boil sweet potatoes until tender.  Drain, peel, cut into desired size, layer in 9x13" pan (this step can be done in advance and the sweet potatoes stored in fridge until ready to finish/bake).

-Rinse and drain cranberries.  Boil cranberries and honey until the sauce is desired consistency (~10-15 minutes? berries will pop and soften)

-Thinly slice apple over sweet potatoes

-Pour cranberries over top of apple/sweet potatoes

-Sprinkle cinnamon over top of cranberries (I don't ever measure this, just sprinkle liberally)

-Bake @ 350 until hot through and apple is tender (~45 minutes)
Please note that infants less than one year of age should not have honey. 

Enjoy!

Update Thanksgiving 2018
These are very good using pure maple syrup in place of the honey and dotting the top with butter before baking. They are also very good served with chopped pecans.

Update Thanksgiving 2021

These are very good using a 12-ounce can of undiluted apple juice concentrate in the cranberry sauce in place of the honey. I also sprinkled the cinnamon on top of the apples and then topped everything with the cranberry sauce. 

Notes 

This can be made with frozen cranberries. The sauce will take a little longer. 

Cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, allspice, and/or ginger can be added to the cranberry sauce. 

The cranberry sauce is also very good on pumpkin pancakes. 

Sweet potatoes ready for the oven. 

Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.

Life is Rarely Boring

This past week has been difficult, but not from anything related to surgery.  I had gone into the weekend with far worse pain than usual from what I was suspecting to be a reaction to the new medication. However, Monday, the prescribing physician was surprised at the reaction and did not think it cause and effect, thus asked me to give it another try. Second try also resulted in dramatic exacerbation of the pain. Thus, the medication was stopped.  It took the majority of the week for all of the effects to clear.

The medication reaction set things back with PT and rehab as pain was so high it was hard to want to move very much. PT checked and my hips and body were still able to move and respond well and not acting like a normal flare (she has seen me through several so knows what is normal for me), so she also really thought it was a reaction to the new medication and not an actual flare.  She did back me off exercises as she could tell I was not doing well.  By later in the week when the reaction was finally mostly resolved, she increased things back up.

I had been so excited about finally making progress again last week after the injection only to end up with another week long set back from a medication reaction.  Sigh.  Sometimes, I feel as if no matter what I or those supporting me do, I cannot win. Anyway, I am grateful that the reaction effects have cleared and I am back to "normal" baseline pain levels again.  I never thought I would say I was this grateful for the usual pain. I am also grateful that the non op hip is finally cooperating!  It is handling strengthening exercises, handling more weight bearing, handling sitting, standing, etc.  Finally!  It is still weaker than op hip, but we are at least able to work on strengthening it.

I am currently looking forward to a bit of a break.  Life in general has been rather more "interesting" than I prefer.  I am ready for quiet and rest.

Matthew 11:28
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.

Progress Again Finally

It has been an interesting week and I wrote thoughts as the week progressed. Far more occurred than I am sharing here, but these are the major happenings. I am so grateful for progress and I am choosing to focus on the progress and not the unexpected challenges. I feel like this week is less of surgery progress report as a collision between the multiple other chronic medical conditions.

11/7/16

After another challenging week, another weekend of being in recovery mode, I received a call this morning asking if I could come in yet this afternoon for the injection?  Yes! Oh my, that was fast once they called!  I already felt better as I left and had an amazing rest of the afternoon actually being able to walk and sit pain-free or minimal pain in both hips!  So relieved!  It took over two months to finally get the injection, but it is definitely working! With the anesthetic part of the injection in effect, I find I am actually starting to do things more normally and more balanced again--less shifting of weight onto the op side hip to give the painful non-op hip a break.  It is still habit to shift onto op side, though as it has been so long from compensating. Funny how fast new compensation patterns develop.  I used to always stand with weight shifted onto right hip before surgery--hence it always getting irritated every time left hip flared before surgery.  I had been told, and learned how, to force myself to evenly distribute weight in spite of pain before surgery.  But after surgery, as left hip got stronger and right failed to calm down as we tapered prednisone, I gradually shifted to using left side more and protecting right side.

I am far more hopeful again, but honestly also a little apprehensive as the true test starts--tapering the oral prednisone the rest of the way.  The past tapers have flared all pain, but especially hips and shoulder. I am hoping things do not get too bad and that the shoulder will stay pretty stable. The left hips was tolerating the taper fine for the first time ever when we began tapering in August six weeks after surgery.  But, that is when the right hip and the left shoulder flared back up again and have not calmed since except for the high-dose prednisone burst several weeks ago.

It has been a rough evening after the anesthetic wore off, but by this time, I have had so many injections, I know normal response and knew it was going to be even more painful once the first part wore off than prior to the injection.  Hoping the cortisone takes effects as well and quickly this time as it has in the past.  But, hoping it lasts longer this time.

Probably worth noting, but trying not to think about what this may mean: the anesthetic worked 100%, as in completely pain-free.  As it wore off and pain returned, I only felt pain in all of the normal areas, with exception of muscle soreness. Things were reminiscent of injections in the other hip prior to surgery.  I am intentionally choosing not to think too hard about any of this or try to sort out what it might mean. I honestly do not want to know.  Normally, I am curious, inquisitive, wanting to know and understand everything I encounter.  Normally, I think of knowledge as being power.  But, sometimes ignorance truly is bliss.

11/10/16

By later in the week, I noticed definite times of no pain in the injected hip, suggesting the cortisone is starting to take effect!  This afternoon PT checked motion on both hips and said both were moving well and with full normal motion!  So exciting and encouraging!  She was really pleased!  I was pleased that someone other than myself could tell--that I was not imagining things out of too high of hope. We are again working on slowly adding strengthening exercises for the right hip and it is amazing how weak it got when we were trying to get it calmed down.

Now that I was finally able to get the injection, we are again tapering the oral prednisone.  So, that means now the other problematic joint (shoulder) that we had actually tried to check about getting injected a couple of months ago but not able to, is now flaring up.  But, since the right hip is finally calming down and both hips are doing well, there is more time to work on the irritated shoulder.  It could be frustrating, but I am grateful that at least things are sort of taking turns now, rather than hitting me all at once. The shoulder is limiting but less so than the hip has been, so this is still improvement compared to early in the week.

I also allowed myself to be persuaded into trying a new medication to try to help support my body as we taper the prednisone.  I am notoriously unpredictable in my responses to medications, so I am being as optimistic as possible and asked how to improve the chances that my body tolerates this medication and it actually does what it is supposed to do.  So far, not really noticing anything at all.  Pain in general is worsening, but suspecting prednisone taper for that and not concerned.

Still so relieved and excited. Finally!  Progress!  It has been a difficult couple of months of fighting, almost giving up so many times--including earlier this week.

11/12/16

I was so encouraged with finally making progress, finally getting pain under better control!  But then almost ended up in the emergency room last night. The best guess at present is severe exacerbation of pain as a side effect to the new medication that was started a few days ago in an attempt to support me during the prednisone taper as tapers have historically not gone well for me.  Well, this medication certainly did not help and maybe made things worse.  Pain spiked far faster and higher than with normal flares and compared to past prednisone tapers as well. This is certainly not normal for me. I went from pretty functional Friday afternoon to barely able to finish getting groceries, leaning on the shopping cart for support, barely getting things up the stairs to my apartment (left all non perishable items in the car to carry up another time), then lying on the floor with ice packs the rest of the evening unable to sit or stand longer than a few moments at a time.  I had intended to go to another couple of stores and start laundry but those ideas were completely abandoned due to pain levels and inability to stand or walk very far.   Discouraged as this means yet another weekend spent in recovery mode after all. I am very grateful that I was able to go to a family function that I had been looking forward to, but I had to take it easy.  This set back has been discouraging and last night in particular was difficult.  It is getting easier to want to quit fighting and just give up.  I am still hanging on but not sure how long.  This evening is better than this morning, which was better than last night.  So, slight hope is returning, but much more cautiously optimistic at present than the past few days before this situation happened.  I am at the moment completely back off the break through pain medication and being careful, but trying to see if I can stay off of it if things are calming back down.  The new medication has been stopped and it should be fully clearing my system relatively soon as I had not been on it that long. (There were multiple discussions with medical resources last night and this morning, but more will have to be discussed and decided Monday.)

11/13/16

Seemingly making progress again.  Things are still challenging, but grateful for any progress again at this point,  Praying for wisdom for my doctors tomorrow when they see the notes of what happened over the weekend. Praying for acceptance for me of whatever new plan is suggested.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.

Mexican Casserole Recipe

This is a super easy crock pot recipe, as are most of my recipes.  This one was made up sort of on accident, again like most of my recipes are.  This actually started out with the intention of making chili, but part way through I changed my mind and started just adding things that sounded good.  It turned out really well.  I was planning to make chili again today, but once I got it started, began to think of changing it into this recipe...which is exactly what ended up happening.  This is modified from the chili recipe I posted a few years ago.

Easy Crock Pot Mexican Casserole

1 cup pinto beans
1 cup black beans
1 cup red beans
2 tablespoons chili powder
1 tablespoon cumin
1 teaspoon garlic powder
2 teaspoons onion powder
2 teaspoons celery seed
1-2 pounds ground beef or turkey
1 cup brown rice
1 10-ounce package frozen, chopped spinach
~1 ½ teaspoons salt (to taste)
1 can tomato paste
V8 (a few cups, I just poured)

Sort and rinse beans, cover with several inches of water and let soak overnight.  In the morning, drain the beans, pour beans into crock pot and cover with plenty of fresh water.  Add all seasonings except salt. Cook on high.  If using at least 90% lean ground beef or turkey, I crumble it in raw and let it cook with the beans.  If not, then I brown and drain the meat before adding it.  The spinach may be added frozen, and it will thaw and cook. I usually add the spinach and rice once the beans are mostly tender.  Once beans and rice are both tender, I add the tomato paste, V8, and salt. I usually turn the crock pot to low at this point, but it does not really matter. The V8 I add until it reaches the consistency I want. I did add additional onion powder, garlic powder, and chili powder but did not measure any of them.  This works best in a large crock pot. This does freeze and thaw well.

You can use any mix of dry beans, but I usually use the ones listed.  The meat is optional, the spinach is optional. Even the rice is optional, but I like the combination of all of them.

Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.

Patience, Perspective, and Persistence

This is not really a progress report--it seems as if there is not much, if any, progress again right now.  This is more about the real keys to success in recovering from pretty much anything.  These are not new concepts for me after many years of dealing with chronic pain and various other medical conditions, and other surgeries/recoveries.  However, there have been some differences this time that caught me by surprise, so choosing to take a step back to regroup and intentionally refocus on the basics.

This is a long recovery and much comes down to patience, perspective, and persistence. It is worth taking the time to let the body heal, not to push things or try to make things go faster than the body is ready. Perspective--this is where I have been struggling. The op hip is doing well and I try to keep my focus on that, but non op hip is not. Thus every time op hip is ready to try something new, PT says not to even try because non op hip cannot handle it. This makes it difficult to see any progress through rehab because I am still incredibly restricted. I was prepared for things to be very limited and to have to regain ability slowly. I was not prepared for other hip to interfere to the extent that I am unable to regain ability at all with some things--at least not yet. It has been exciting to see how well op hip is doing but this has often been overshadowed by how poorly non op hip is doing. 

For example, I still cannot walk other than just what is essential to get around as non op hip gets mad. But, I can handle sitting longer, and I can stand longer, Yesterday, I did PT exercises and elliptical in the morning, walked in the pool and did other PT exercises in the pool after lunch, did my own grocery shopping in the evening, carried the groceries up the two flights of stairs to my apartment, etc. I can do things and have to focus on what I can do and not on what non op hip is limiting me from doing. 

I am confused. The right hip has always flared up when left hip flared even prior to surgery. We have always gotten it calmed down again once left was calmed (usually with an injection). The left hip is doing really well after surgery, is getting stronger, is doing its own work, carrying its own load, and even starting to compensate for right. However, right is not calming down, but rather getting worse. So, I really am not sure why we cannot get the right hip to calm down this time without high dose steroid. Puzzling. I keep wondering if I have just become too sensitive.  However, when providers can tell without me telling where the problem is that the hip is swollen, gait is off, etc., I do not think I am being hypersensitive or imagining things.  

This weeks has its highs and lows.  My hips and shoulder were letting me do more again in PT early in the week, only to end up on the strong pain killer just from walking to class the next day. Sigh.  It is the right hip that keeps throwing fits.  We are trying to find the balance between giving it a break to calm it down, but not let it get weak. It is thus far defying that such a balance exists. It is now weaker than left hip, but it is still not calming down.  Persistence is essential to keep up with daily rehab work even when it feels like it is not doing any good. 

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.

Four Months

It is hard to believe that I am almost four months post op from the hip surgery already! There are times I even forget I had surgery, other than that my hip is so much better than it had been for years prior to surgery.  Wow!

I decided to try something different.  I have been struggling so much with the various medical issues out of control and the non-op, right hip getting worse.  I thought I would see if taking a break from writing would also maybe help me take a break from thinking about things.  However, it really made no difference.  I did not really think it would, but was at a point where anything was worth a try. I already know how to focus on other things and use distraction.  I was already trying to stay focused on other things, on what was going well, and rejoice in each milestone and indicator of progress with the left hip.  However, right hip continues to intrude itself upon notice. The left hip is still healing incredibly well and making excellent progress. For this I am very grateful.

I do still know what has happened each week. There is not much difference week to week anymore.  I think the majority of healing has taken place and I have regained the majority of normal range of motion and am regaining strength.  The full recovery takes about a year, so things are still healing, but less noticeable now.

14 Weeks: Turning Around
I am not really sure how things are going.  They are going better in some respects, not so well in others.  We have the medical situation turning around for now, finally.  However, it is with extreme measures that are not sustainable long term.  There still is no long term plan.  I am grateful things are getting better for now and trying to just stay in the moment and not think about what happens next. I am still amazed at how well things are going after surgery in the grand scheme.  That hip seems to still be doing really well in spite of all of the recent challenges with other issues.

15 Weeks: More Firsts
It has been a while since I have really gotten to do or try much new.  Focus has been on regaining better control of things.  This past week I drove long distance for the first time since surgery.  I attended a conference for the first time since surgery.  I got to carry my littlest niece for the first time since surgery.  (I had gotten to hold her on my lap earlier).

The conference is one I have attended the last two years as well.  The first year, I sat near the front and managed to actually sit through entire sessions.  Last year, I sat in the back, sat on my back pillow, stood often, moved around.  This year was similar to last except that left hip (op side) was much better than last year, and right hip much worse than last year.  Left hip handles sitting longer, but right does not.  Left handles standing longer but right does not.  The problem with right not handling standing, is then I have more weight shifted onto left, which then tires out left hip faster and it gets sore. I was pleased to discover that after a full day of sitting, standing, left hip being sore, right hip being pinchy and painful, back and neck being sore and painful, that elliptical, PT exercises, and being in the pool helped calm everything down incredibly well!  I did need a couple of days just to recover once it was all over and I was home again.

16 Weeks: Changing Things Up
This was an interesting week.  After so much travel for the conference, I was home only a couple of days before back on the road again for another surgeon appointment.  This time, my sister came over and she did the driving!  So grateful! This appointment was more for problem solving since things had only gotten worse and I was struggling after the previous plan had not been followed when the local surgeon had declined to give the injection that had been ordered but without offering any alternative plan.  The result was that things kept deteriorating until I "crashed"--unable to cope effectively. Anyway, this appointment went well. He checked both hips and left hip is still doing great in spite of everything!  Plan is still the same as last time--stay on course with PT for the left hip and a cortisone injection for the right hip to calm it down, but this time his office will communicate directly with the local surgeon's office and hopefully coordinate care better and hopefully the plan will be followed and I will be able to get the injection. I had half hoped it would be decided that I did not need the injection and maybe there was something else we could try instead. I am not afraid of injections; on the contrary, I have had several and they have all been incredibly effective.  I simply prefer as minimal and non-invasive approaches as possible. I guess, right hip is too irritated for less involved measures.

All along, it has struck me as odd because right hip (non-op side) is still stronger than left hip (op side), but the left hip is tolerating things better than the right hip.  Well, at the appointment, it turned out that the left hip is now stronger in some respects than the right hip.  I had not known that. When I saw PT the next day, I was informed that the left hip is now the good hip.  Wow.  I knew eventually it would be a good hip, but for it to be "the good hip" at three months into a 1-year recovery was not anticipated.  I am not sure how much of this is because it is healing so fast versus that the other hip is deteriorating that rapidly, or a combination thereof. Still, it surprised me.  I am pleasantly surprised and grateful that left hip is still doing so well in spite of all of the challenges.  It has been discouraging how problematic the right hip has been and that its cannot seem to calm down no matter what we try, short of extreme measures. I think part of what has been so hard is that I cannot measure or see progress as well because as soon as left is cleared to try something, I am told that right will not be able to handle it so not to even try. Hence, it being very difficult to see or feel progress when still incredibly restricted.  I have to choose to remember that it is the right hip that is restricting things and that the left hip is doing well and regaining ability and freedom.

More firsts! I was cleared to try whip kick for breaststroke!  I am not really allowed to fully kick yet but OK'd to go through the motions slowly and carefully and gently hanging onto the side of the pool or a kick board! So, of course I tried--it went well.  It has been months.  Left (op side) hip felt fine! Right hip did not do so well.  Sigh. I was not surprised about that, but still disappointing.

17 Weeks: Still Persevering
This has been a bit of a rough week again.  For one thing, I am still waiting to get the injection for the non-op hip and it is still pretty irritated.  It was decided to leave the prednisone dose stable and not taper further until after I am able to get the injection.  Still, the dose has been tapered far enough that things are slipping again--across the board, not just the hip. With the taper other things are again reappearing.  I had noticed quite a few interesting observations over the years of prednisone bursts and tapers.  Prednisone essentially "fixes" everything.  We have no idea why.  I have been tested repeatedly for autoimmune issues, but always unequivocally negative. Are the other issues consequences from living with constant chronic pain? Thus, when prednisone decreases pain, other things resolve? Or, is something else going on?  When we decided to leave prednisone dose alone, it was partially because other issues were again surfacing as the taper progressed.  For now, the priority is getting hip pain under control.  However, we are watching the other things and depending on what happens, I may get sent back to more specialists again for additional work up. I really do not want to as diagnostic work can be draining and exhausting--physically, mentally, emotionally (and financially). I have been cautioned that I need to learn to not minimize things when discussing concerns with my various healthcare providers  However, minimizing is a deeply ingrained coping mechanism that I have always done and I honestly do not know how not to.  Also, I am trying to manage things as independently as possible and non-invasive as possible.  There are quite a number of things I am just watching on my own...and only mention once I become concerned or it seems to me to become relevant to something else we are trying to address.

Ever more and more I find myself forgetting I had surgery and thus find myself doing things accidentally that had been off limits after surgery.  I even find myself doing things I had not been able to do for months/years before surgery!

Something I wrote the other day:

Not quite 4 months post op and op hip is doing so well I keep forgetting that it had surgery and to be careful. I mentioned this to PT and that I am afraid of accidentally doing something and hurting it. She said at this point I am in less danger of doing anything serious even if I do something my hip is not quite ready for yet. I mentioned I will find myself sitting cross-legged without thinking about it--she was not concerned. She keeps having me try new stretches and things I have not been able to do for years and it is exciting to find I can do them now!!!! PT is pleased with progress. I am trying really hard to focus on recovery and how well op hip is doing. Otherwise, it is incredibly discouraging and frustrating how badly non op hip is doing and how limiting it is.

The non op right hip is starting to catch and feel stuck again.  It had stopped since the high dose prednisone a month ago. Sigh.

I have been thinking again over the past week. We are trying to protect the right hip.  With the left hip, I had no idea it was even the hip itself--thought the hip pain was compensation from my back.  It was years later we finally diagnosed the hip.  Thus, I was not protecting the hip at all.  I was continuing on with life the best I could.  I was limping, but able to get around.  The result was years of compensation, me further irritating things from not knowing enough to avoid some things. By the time things were accurately diagnosed, things were pretty bad and essentially it was too late anymore to avoid surgery as things were too far gone. (Did not stop me from trying to avoid surgery anyway.) With the right hip, I am more aware of what to avoid, what to do, what not to do. The right hip is not as bad as left hip was before surgery--for this I am very grateful! I am also very hopeful that the right will not need surgery. However, I do not want the right hip to get as bad as the left hip did before surgery.  Thus, trying to protect the right hip.  However, as I was thinking through how restricted I still am, I realized I am more restricted than much of the years before surgery.  It is not pain itself, but the goal of protecting the hip. Yes, if I overdo it pain reminds me, so pain is sort of a secondary indicator. I can live with some pain and restrictions--I have been doing so for 14 years already. However, once pain and restrictions get to a certain point, it is not really living anymore. It is surviving. I am honestly not sure if the current restrictions will calm down the right hip--so far, nothing is working. If not, then what is the point?  I do not want to live this restricted the rest of my life. I'd rather have surgery than be this restricted.  I do not want surgery--hence trying to protect the right hip.  I really do not know--need to ask about this and see. Maybe we are just protecting until injection? In which case, that does not help with trying to patiently wait until I can get the injection. Sigh.  Hence why I feel stuck so much at present. It is because I am stuck. This is also why I prefer managing as independently as possible--not having to wait on providers. I am not a patient patient.  I try to be, but it is so hard sometimes.

I am trying to live in the present and not worry about the future.  But, I am also trying to maintain an eternal perspective and not get caught up in the temporary challenges of the present.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.

Oven Roasted Potatoes

The only way I have ever roasted vegetables before today was with roast beef or roast turkey.  I had 5 pounds of potatoes that were still fine but really needed to be used up sooner rather than later and none of the usual means of fixing potatoes sounded interesting.  So, I decided to try roasting them.  I started with no recipe whatsoever.  Just 5 pounds of potatoes, a glass baking pan, olive oil. seasonings, and an idea.

Oven Roasted Potatoes

potatoes
olive oil
garlic powder
onion powder
dried parsley
salt to taste

I did not measure anything at all.  I used the entire 5 pounds of potatoes (minus one potato that looked iffy), scrubbed the potatoes, cut them into smallish size pieces.  I drizzled olive oil in the bottom of the pan and sprinkled the seasonings over that, added a layer of potatoes, more oil. more seasonings, more potatoes, etc. until the pan was full.  I baked them at 400 degrees, stirring every time I remembered to do so, and until the potatoes were tender and browning.  Super easy! Also, really yummy!

Next question: what am I going to do with 5 pounds of roasted potatoes??  Actually I can think of lots of things--as a side dish, in egg skillets, to snack on, etc.

Life is rarely boring when one cooks without recipes and from random ideas. :)

Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.

13 Weeks/3 Months: Regrouping

Hard to believe how far I have come in so little time, yet how challenging things still are.  The repaired hip is still doing incredibly well overall and I am truly thankful I was able to have surgery and that it has helped so much so early on.  I know this is a one-year recovery, so doing so well this early, really is unusual, and I am really grateful.

Yesterday was 13 weeks since the hip surgery, today is 3 months since the hip surgery, but also 10 months since the abdominal surgery.  I had recovered so quickly and so well from the abdominal surgery that I kept forgetting I had the surgery.  However, with everything being flared right now, that surgery is also relevant.  For one, my body has been through two surgeries in less than a year.  For another, that surgery and some of the scarring at one of the incision sites is interacting with recovery from the hip surgery.  This is not new information, but as we continue to try to problem solve, each little factor gets revisited with new perspective.

Regrouping refers to lots of things at this point.  I am having to rearrange a lot of ideas.  Rehab goals have had to be overhauled, managing the various other medical conditions have had to be rethought again, managing school has had to be rethought again.  There still are no long terms plans for managing everything, or anything.  We do have temporary plans in place for now, but still working on figuring out next steps and then trying to get things stabilized again. Multiple members of my medical team are involved at this point--primary care, physical therapist, hip surgeon. I trust them, but it is hard not knowing....

How can one small person be so hard to figure out how to support and get things managed?  How can one small person have so many different things going on in a single body? How can one small person keep fighting and hanging on and trying to live life fully?  The first parts are because that is how God made me and what He is doing in and through me.  The last part, is that He is sustaining me. In all, it is amazing that God actually takes notice of and loves this one small person.  No matter how insignificant I may feel at times, He loves me, He has a plan for me and my life, He knows what He is doing even through circumstances that appear impossible.

Psalm 139:13-16 (NKJV)
For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;[b]
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NKJV)
Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory,  while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 (NKJV)
Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Choosing to find and focus on what is going well and choosing to let go of everything beyond my control and the things that are not going well.  I am regaining better balance in life and that is slowly helping me regain better balance in overall coping.

link for this week :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIZitK6_IMQ


Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.

Homemade Granola

This is an old recipe but one I had not made in a long time until recently.

Granola

5 cups rolled oats
1 cup oat flour  (optional)
pinch salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
3/8 cup honey
1/4 cup oil
1/4 cup water
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla

Mix oats, salt, and spices together  Whisk together honey, oil. water, and vanilla and pour over oats mixture.  Stir to mix and evenly coat oats.  Pour into 9x13" pan and bake @ 300' ~40 minutes, stirring every 10 minutes.  Granola is done when it is starting to brown.  It will harden as it cools. Let cool fully, then store in an airtight container.  I usually keep it in the fridge.

For the oat flour, I grind rolled oats in a coffee grinder, but a blender also will work.

Granola lends itself to modification!  Any combination of nuts, seeds, or dried fruit can be added. A favorite alternate version of the above is replacing the honey with pure maple syrup and the oil with melted butter.  The original recipe had 1/2 cup oil and 1/2 cup honey, but this seemed too sweet and rich for me, so I decreased the honey and replaced part of the oil with water. When I was making this for my family may years ago, we quadrupled the recipe and made it in four 9x13" pans.  I also found this works well on the stove top if you have a stock pot large enough.  I figure it also would work in the crock pot but have not gotten as far as trying that yet. :)

Edit 8/29/18 to add notes from 3/26/17: Crock Pot Granola
Well, after thinking of trying for years, I finally did it!  I tried making granola in the crock pot.  I considered looking online for recipes, but since I had already made granola the normal way in the oven, plus on the stove top as an experiment years ago, I knew it pretty much had to work.  So, I just used my regular granola recipe and put it in the crock pot.  Except, I rarely follow even my own recipes, so substituted pure maple syrup for the honey and mix of coconut oil and butter for the oil, just because it sounded good, was another idea from the past that I do not think I ever tried.  So, two experiments in one attempt!  It worked great!  Unfortunately, I was working on other projects and did not keep track of how long things took. Basically, just dump everything into the crock pot, mix well, cook on high stirring every 10-15 minutes until browned, then pour onto cookie sheet or into large bowl to cool.  Once cool, I store it in an air tight container in the fridge, but it can be stored at room temperature.

Edit 2/20/19: Peanut Butter Granola
This is very good with peanut butter replacing both the oil and water! I ended up adding an extra spoonful of peanut butter and more honey to make sure it all mixed well. I also tried mixing the dry ingredients in the pan, pouring the wet ingredients over and mixing it right in the baking pan. That worked well. This experiment did give me yet another idea....for later experimenting.

Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.

12 weeks: Stalled and Stuck

Supposedly, 12 weeks post op from this surgery is another milestone and other restrictions are supposed to lift.  But, with me we are still stuck and not making much progress.  The operative hip is feeling great, doing well.  PT told me it is healing well, regaining range of motion well, and also getting stronger, but the strengthening is going slowly because of how limited we are by the other hip not tolerating the strengthening exercises.  This is really discouraging.

PT is very creative, very resourceful. very supportive, but she told me the reason progress feels as if it has stopped is because we are stalled.  My right hip is still just not handling rehab for the left hip.  We are trying to protect the right hip but still strengthen the left.  It is weird in that the right hip is still stronger than the left hip after surgery and the atrophy from a month on crutches.  But, left hip can handle the various exercises and right hip cannot. Things have been shifted almost entirely to single leg on the operative leg to continue to strengthen it and give the other a break.  All exercises on both legs are being done in the pool to decrease weight bearing on the other hip.  As of later this week, possibly the other hip was no longer worsening?  I was restarted on NSAID late last week. That NSAID usually takes a few days to reach peak effect, so it should have been in full effect as of this week.  That was encouraging that something was finally helping some!  But, then later in the week I discovered that my body was not tolerating the NSAID this time.  It took me a while to even realize I was reacting as this was completely unexpected and had never happened with this medication before.  Thus, I had the hard decision to stop the NSAID. I honestly do not what alternatives exist from here.  It appears to me that remaining options without injections are either increasing oral prednisone again or going back on narcotic.  Neither of which I am excited about.  We had been trying to see if we could get me off the prednisone completely, and I did not even need narcotic very long after surgery. (Rather enlightening and puts things in perspective that right hip is more problematic than surgery was, and right hip is still not as bad as left hip was before surgery....)  It is not really feasible right now to get back to MN for an injection there even though there is a current order for the injection.  I already had difficulties driving and right hip only makes driving even harder yet.

It is getting ever more difficult, but I can still find and can still choose to focus on the positive and what is going right.  The repaired hip is still doing incredibly well!  This is a huge relief.  Especially since PT says she thinks it is starting to compensate now for the other hip.  I had noticed a few weeks ago when walking to class that the repaired hip still got tired and sometimes sore.  However, this week, when I walked to class, it did not get tired or sore--just felt normal!  However, the other hip did get tired and painful.  I feel as if I simply cannot win.  It is starting to seem impossible to be able to figure out how to fully support my entire body.  I am not giving up but getting ever closer to wanting to do so.  The medical situation is undermining everything else at present and stressors with school are further undermining medical situation.  Caught and trapped.

I am making progress in some things in spite of the right hip being problematic.  Swimming is going well and freestyle is back to normal--meaning I have to be super careful of my shoulder but both hips are handling kicking fine. Elliptical is going well and even the flared up, irritated, non op hip is tolerating that alright as long as I limit pace and duration.  Stationary bike is still OK--some days it is fine, others I have to cut it short because of non op hip.  I still cannot walk for exercise. Repaired hip was OK'd to try walking on land other than just to get around but the other hip is so irritated that I have not tried and am still doing all extra walking in the pool. I really want to go for a walk outside again but don't dare risk it right now.

I am very grateful for the support network I have.  I almost titled this week either "Crash Course" or "Collision Course" as it felt as if all aspects of life were going wrong, physically collided, and all of the pieces hit me at once and almost knocked me down. This had been building for a few weeks, but I still did not really see it coming to this extent and got caught off guard.  The few that I will let know when things are not going well went above and beyond to let me know they are there for me and will support me no matter what happens. It was difficult to acknowledge I needed help and to let others know, but needed to happen.

I have no idea what the future holds from here on any front right now.  But, I know the Lord knows and He has me right where He wants me and when He is ready to move me elsewhere He will let me know.  I need to trust Him, trust those supporting and counseling me.  I need to be willing to let go of my original ideas if that is where He leads.

I am still my limit-pushing self and Friday evening when I did my usual stretches and noticed where range of motion was at, I became curious as to whether I could sit cross-legged again.  So, I tried and this is the result.  Not too bad!

I do not normally post links. However, I think what I read this morning fitting for the current circumstances.  I also think the video link a friend had posted is also fitting.  I am not reading anything into either of them, just aware of how appropriate they are.

https://thepianoguys.com/portfolio/okay/

This Is Exactly What You Need to Hear Today - OKAY - ThePianoGuys

http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/desert/streams-in-the-desert-september-24th.html

When the Spirit Shuts a Door - Streams in the Desert - September 24

After they were come to Mysia, they assayed to go into Bithyma: but the Spirit suffered them not (Acts 16:7).

What a strange prohibition! These men were going into Bithynia just to do Christ's work, and the door is shut against them by Christ's own Spirit.

I, too, have experienced this in certain moments. I have sometimes found myself interrupted in what seemed to me a career of usefulness. Opposition came and forced me to go back, or sickness came and compelled me to retire into a desert apart.

It was hard at such times to leave my work undone when I believed that work to be the service of the Spirit. But I came to remember that the Spirit has not only a service of work, but a service of waiting. I came to see that in the Kingdom of Christ there are not only times for action, but times in which to forbear acting. I came to learn that the desert place apart is often the most useful spot in the varied life of man--more rich in harvest than the seasons in which the corn and wine abounded. I have been taught to thank the blessed Spirit that many a darling Bithynia had to be left unvisited by me.

And so, Thou Divine Spirit, would I still be led by Thee. Still there come to me disappointed prospects of usefulness. Today the door seems to open into life and work for Thee; tomorrow it closes before me just as I am about to enter. Teach me to see another door in the very inaction of the hour. Help me to find in the very prohibition thus to serve Thee, a new opening into Thy service. Inspire me with the knowledge that a man may at times be called to do his duty by doing nothing, to work by keeping still, to serve by waiting. When I remember the power of the "still small voice," I shall not murmur that sometimes the Spirit suffers me not to go.
--George Matheson

"When I cannot understand my Father's leading,
And it seems to be but hard and cruel fate,
I Still I hear that gentle whisper ever
pleading,God is working, God is faithful, ONLY WAIT."

Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.

Week 11: Stressed Out

As usual, I am trying to find the positive.  My body endured a lot this past week and I have been amazed at how well the left hip handled everything I asked of it.  The repaired left hip put up with far more sitting and standing than it had managed in the years before surgery.  It also handled high stress. I was facing things I could not change, thus was as careful as I knew how to be under the circumstances, but it was still a rough week.  The rest of my body also managed to hang on through it all.  However, the right hip has continued to gradually worsen.  

I had a bit of an unpleasant surprise this week.  When I had seen the surgeon for post-op follow up with the left hip a couple of weeks ago, he had ordered a cortisone injection for the right hip to help calm it down and allow me to regain better progress with rehab for the left hip.  However, due to circumstances, it was going to be easier to get the injection done locally (or so I thought).  I was amazed that the local surgeon was able to get me in so fast, but also relieved as I really needed help with calming down the right hip, and preferably the shoulder as well. So, an appointment that soon was nothing short of an answer to prayer and I was very grateful!  Being on crutches for a month had flared everything up, things had started to calm down somewhat once off crutches, but then flared again as we started tapering the oral prednisone.  The plan with primary care was to decrease prednisone dose again later in the week so timing of the appt was perfect for getting injections and allow the taper to proceed better. Anyway, I was able to get in, but then was denied injections for either the hip or the shoulder even though I had an order for an injection for the hip and the notes from the surgeon who did my hip surgery also mentioned the shoulder issues.  I left the appointment very discouraged, very disappointed, also very surprised and frustrated--almost in shock that everything I had been told in advance had been disregarded. I had hoped so much that maybe injections would help get rehab going better again and help calm down some of the issues that the prednisone had apparently been masking, plus assist with tapering the prednisone. The only explanation I was given when I asked why not injections was that my body needed more time to heal--in the order of months. I asked about alternative management approaches and was told to do what I could and listen to my body--things I have already been doing and everyone else knew I was doing, which is why the others had suggested (and surgeon had ordered) injections.  I saw primary care physician a couple of days later and was still totally at a loss of what else to do.  She did not really have any other ideas either. For now, we halted the prednisone taper and did not decrease the dose again as initially planned.  Rather, we will wait until things either calm on their own or we figure out an alternate plan for managing things.  I was very grateful for this as struggling already at this dose and literally afraid of decreasing further without some better means of managing the the right hip and the shoulder.  We also restarted the NSAID to see if that would help calm things better to help out with PT. I am very grateful for a medical team that knows me and work to support me, but I was totally unprepared for one physician to go against the entire rest of the team regarding injections. Especially, since he is the one who has done all of my other injections, the one who referred me to the surgeon who did my surgery and ordered the injection. I am still puzzled as to what happened.  If I did not explain things well?  But, they had copies of the injection order and all notes from MN that I had dropped off myself.  I am trying to remember that everything happens for a reason--even things that make no sense at all now.

I am so grateful for my family and church family and their support through this week!  It was hard, but I let them know I was struggling and to be praying. One of the ladies offered to come help me out with home tasks--huge blessing and practical help with the way the week went.   Only the Lord could sustain me through the week--and He did!  God is good no matter how circumstances appear to me.

Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.

10 weeks: Precarious Balance

Note: the basic gist of this post was written a couple of weeks ago, but because of major deadlines, it was never finished until now.

Precarious balance refers more to where I was the previous week.  Things were again going alright after a rough couple of weeks of everything being flared.  This week was a reminder of how precarious things actually were.  I have a body that needs to move and does not want to be pushed.  With major deadlines looming, there was less moving and more pushing and my body rebelled (or more accurately gave up).  Absolutely all of the usual chronic pain is again flared and now losing progress with rehab as well, plus finding new issues popping up related to compensation issues. This is so incredibly frustrating and discouraging.  I had to take a full break from rehab exercises to let things start to calm down but nothing helped until a full night of sleep and working through full set of exercises, heat, ice, etc.  My body was just way beyond its limits.  I have never been so close to wanting to give up.  I am not a quitter, but my body is worn out and I am wearing down mentally and emotionally as well from the toll. I was reminded earlier this week that I am doing the equivalent of trying to balance and manage multiple full time jobs.  School is like a full time job, each chronic condition is like a full time job, surgery rehab is the equivalent of at least a full time job. It is no wonder I am exhausted and cannot figure out how to balance everything--it really is not possible. If I have any one of the issues reasonably well managed, it means everything else is not.  Most of the time, it is trying to have everything as managed as I can get it, but nothing fully managed. Rehab got the priority the first few weeks after surgery.  This may be why recovery has been going so much better than anyone, including myself, anticipated.

Overwhelmed, exhausted, setbacks, loss of progress.  Progress had slowed down, but I think this is the first there has been actual loss of progress and going backward.  I had to take a full break from some exercises. The first part of the week, things were still going alright and I had asked about resumption of some other exercises from before surgery as well as increasing duration for swimming, elliptical, bike.  These had all been OK'd.  But, I never got to try.  Things had felt "off" that day, and by evening, everything was hurting and even the surgical hip was pretty sore.  I took it easy and only did gentle stretches and ice that evening.  I woke the next morning with definite pain in the surgical hip, though it felt muscular and not joint.  Still. it was significant enough to make me rethink things and rearrange my approach.  I iced it, then proceeded into normal routine of heat, home exercises.  However, I backed way off on the home exercises and called in to check how far to push things versus back off.  I was told to back off the stretnghtening exercises for 48 hours, alternate heat with ice. Do stretches and cardio as tolerated.  The surgical hip calmed down somewhat, but other things appeared and worsened.  It was a challenging week and has been a challenging weekend.  I honestly do not know how I am going to proceed from here, other than that I am going to do so somehow, some way.  I am not giving up, not quitting...yet.

God knows the plan and His way is best.


Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.

Easy Crock Pot Minestrone

This is not a new recipe, but rather something I have been making for years and before that was modified from a stove top recipe.  But, I just realized that I did not have this recipe posted yet.  Plus, since I am feeling creative, I decided to try something a little different, because that is just the way I cook.

Minestrone

1 pound white beans (I used navy beans)
1 pound ground turkey
2 teaspoons onion powder
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1/8 teaspoon thyme
1 tablespoon parsley
1 teaspoon basil
1 teaspoon oregano
2 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1/2 teaspoon ground fennel
1/16 teaspoon cayenne
2 teaspoons celery seed
1 pound frozen mixed vegetables
1 10-ounce package frozen chopped spinach
1 6-ounce can tomato paste
V8 (a few cups--I just poured)
1 teaspoon salt (or to taste)
olive oil (to taste, optional)
1-2 cups whole wheat elbow macaroni (optional)

Sort and rinse beans, cover with plenty of water, and soak beans overnight.  Drain beans, pour into crock pot.  Cover with fresh water.  Add ground turkey--it is fine to add it raw, it will fully cook, but it can be browned and drained, then added.  Add all seasonings except salt.  Cook on high until beans are tender (usually takes a few hours).  Add frozen mixed vegetables, frozen spinach, tomato paste, V8, salt, olive oil if desired.  Cook until all vegetables are hot through..  I usually let this simmer on low once it is done to give more time for flavors to blend.  If adding macaroni, add it only about 30 minutes before severing.

This recipe works better in a larger crock pot!  I made it work in my 3-quart crock pot, but it was thicker than I liked.  This makes a really big batch, but it does freeze, thaw well.

Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.

9 Weeks/2 Months: Endurance and Encouragement

This was a much more encouraging week than the past couple of weeks have been. Things are still challenging, but more hopeful again.

I took last weekend to recover from the rough week last week.  Early this week, I traveled back to see the surgeon for the first time since surgery.  He was pleased with my progress thus far and said I am ahead of schedule!  That was so encouraging to hear--especially after the rough couple of weeks and with it feeling as if progress had slowed down! I was so relieved to hear that things are going well as I really had no idea what to expect other than that this is a long process and that my body tends to be unpredictable.  He did remind me that I am only a couple of months into a year long recovery process and for me to stay on track with PT and exercises. I need to remain patient and persistent and endure through the tedious times.

I survived the travel rather better than I had hoped!  I am so grateful for an aunt who drove me there and back so I did not have to drive. Lots of stops and lots of ice, but this trip was much better than the trip home the day after surgery! Yet another indicator of progress!

The physical therapist OK'd me to do the final home tasks that I have not been able to do well since surgery.  Yay!  More independence! I do still have a lifting/carrying restriction of approximately 10 pounds, so I still have to be careful and think ahead. I am also still really slow with some things. The stairs have been one of the bigger barriers since there are two flights of them between my apartment and everything else. I successfully went grocery shopping and carried groceries by myself (got more than I could carry in one load on the stairs, but carried up all perishable items and left the rest in the car and went back and got them later after resting--this is what I have always done anyway even before surgery when not doing well).  I also successfully did a couple of loads of laundry and carried that as well.  So far, so good.  The repaired left hip seems to be doing fine--got a tad sore with carrying but not bad.  The supposedly "good" right hip did not do so well.  Sigh. I was cleared for an injection for the "good" hip to help calm it down and let me progress better with rehab for the repaired hip, but waiting to be able to get something scheduled.

I am back to doing most of the home PT exercises I was doing before surgery!  There are still a few I need to wait on. I am hoping that with more return to normal pre-op routines and strategies that I can eventually regain better management of the rest of the pain again.  Swimming is getting better, elliptical is going well, walking is also still getting better but is still primarily a means of getting around and not a means of exercise.  Stationary bike is getting ever more boring and is also getting ever more irritating for the supposedly "good" hip.  I sort of saw this coming as the bike bothered both hips before surgery and I had actually stopped and taken a break a month or so before surgery knowing it would be one of the few things I could do initially after surgery and knowing that I have always gotten bored with it in the past if it was not riding an actual real bike outside. I much prefer going for walks outside and going for bike rides outside.  I am not a fan of treadmills or stationary bikes except for necessity.  I am grateful for them but prefer the real thing. This is one of the hard parts of recovery--not being able to go for a real walk. The weather has been gorgeous and I have longed to go for a nice long walk along the creek.  I am trying to be patient as I know there will be opportunities in the future once I am stronger and my body is ready.

My endurance for sitting and standing is also slowly increasing.  I still use a timer to remind me to get up and move often.  But, I am managing full days on campus as long as I keep things broken up and intersperse activity with work/classes. I can sit longer now than before surgery but sitting through entire classes is still challenging and not going very well.  This recovery is not and has not been easy but it has been so much easier than I anticipated that I keep thinking that at some point things will get much worse.  Yes, the past few weeks have been really difficult, but it has been mostly the other chronic issues and not the hip that had surgery.  It is hard to know how to answer when I am asked how I am doing. In terms of the repaired hip, I am doing much better.  In terms of most of the other issues, I am not doing so well, but probably still doing better than before surgery.

Overall, this has been a better week. I am grateful that things are still going as well as they are.  I am grateful for the support of so many through this whole process!

Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.

8 weeks: Time-consuming and Tedious

Or, another fitting title could have been "Flare-up and Frustration."

This has been a challenging week.  I was trying so hard to be positive and optimistic about the start of a new semester but ended up more apprehensive than anything.  Apparently my gut instincts are still right--I was not ready to increase the pace yet. There have been a lot of non-surgery recovery related stressors in the past couple of weeks as well and this has not helped.

There were some discouraging days.  It feels as if progress has slowed to a standstill.  Things still take more time than before surgery as I am slower, and things feel more tedious when it takes so long.  There were some more setbacks.  Everything decided to flare the same time the weekend before the semester started.  Some of this made sense in hindsight, some still seems random.  Regardless, it meant I got off to a really rough start. It seems that progress is slowing and it is harder to see the progress.  So thankful for a physical therapist who knows me and my body and the numerous challenges.  She had seen this situation coming.  The challenge is figuring out how to manage everything at once.  What the recovering hip needs is hard on the "good" hip, what the "good" hip needs the recovering hip is not ready to handle yet, then add in neck, back, shoulder, etc.

I am choosing to still focus on what I can do and what is going well.  I can do so much again really! I may be slow, but I can do things! I can walk and that is getting better with each day.  I can swim laps, I can walk in the pool, I can clean, cook, etc.  There are still restrictions, thus still some things that I cannot (or should not) do, thus I still need help with some tasks. But, these are getting less with each week.

I have my first follow up appointment with the surgeon next week and am curious to hear what he thinks of progress thus far.  I hope to hear things are going alright, but expecting to hear that things are proceeding slowly.

I am so thankful for a physical therapist who knows me, knows my body and its many complexities, knows how to work with it, knows the rehab for this surgery, and can somehow figure out how to keep me moving forward when it feels like my whole body is rebelling.

It has been a while since I have mentioned specific prayer requests.  Please pray for patience and endurance for me during this time when it feels like progress is slow and when I am overwhelmed with so much at once. Please pray for healing as my body continues to recover and grow stronger again.  Please pray for wisdom for all of the surgeons, other physicians, therapists, and others involved in my care.  They are all aware that things are complicated and that a lot is going on, but it can make it challenging to sort out what to do. Please pray that in all God is glorified.

Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.

Slow and Steady: 7 weeks

It is hard to believe the semester is nearly here!  It is also hard to believe I am already (and also only) 7 weeks post op.  I am still doing really well overall, but also still running into challenges.  The major challenges this past week actually had nothing to do with surgery at all other than that any stressor is going to affect recovery indirectly.

Progress feels slower.  I am not sure if that is because as I regain strength and ability, the increases become smaller proportionally?  Or, if progress actually is slower because of the challenges with the "good" hip and back?  Either way I have to remember that any forward progress is good regardless of pace and that the end goal--full recovery--needs to remain my focus and not how fast (or slowly) I am getting there.

Walking is getting better with each day but is still slow.  I can actually swim laps again!  Pace is slow (because of not kicking), but I can do it!  I was cleared to try elliptical, but only for a few minutes to start with and see how it goes--it went fine.  Lots of little steps in the right direction. Slowly, but steadily, making progress.

There are still lots of restrictions in place.  It is hard trying to balance newly regained ability with wanting to get back to normal with the continued restrictions. I am intentionally choosing to focus on what I can do and not on the limitations and restrictions.

I was recalling that early on I was trying to find at least one new thing I could do each day.  Somewhere along the way I forgot about this  I am still finding new things I can do but not certain if it is every day.  There is also the gradual return to more normal ways of doing things and gradual return to more of my normal routine. Although in process of returning to routine, there is still a lot that is unpredictable.  There is also apparently the gradual return to overdoing it.  This evening let me know I attempted too much today. Lots of ice and rest. Grateful for the weekend.

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