PT is very creative, very resourceful. very supportive, but she told me the reason progress feels as if it has stopped is because we are stalled. My right hip is still just not handling rehab for the left hip. We are trying to protect the right hip but still strengthen the left. It is weird in that the right hip is still stronger than the left hip after surgery and the atrophy from a month on crutches. But, left hip can handle the various exercises and right hip cannot. Things have been shifted almost entirely to single leg on the operative leg to continue to strengthen it and give the other a break. All exercises on both legs are being done in the pool to decrease weight bearing on the other hip. As of later this week, possibly the other hip was no longer worsening? I was restarted on NSAID late last week. That NSAID usually takes a few days to reach peak effect, so it should have been in full effect as of this week. That was encouraging that something was finally helping some! But, then later in the week I discovered that my body was not tolerating the NSAID this time. It took me a while to even realize I was reacting as this was completely unexpected and had never happened with this medication before. Thus, I had the hard decision to stop the NSAID. I honestly do not what alternatives exist from here. It appears to me that remaining options without injections are either increasing oral prednisone again or going back on narcotic. Neither of which I am excited about. We had been trying to see if we could get me off the prednisone completely, and I did not even need narcotic very long after surgery. (Rather enlightening and puts things in perspective that right hip is more problematic than surgery was, and right hip is still not as bad as left hip was before surgery....) It is not really feasible right now to get back to MN for an injection there even though there is a current order for the injection. I already had difficulties driving and right hip only makes driving even harder yet.
It is getting ever more difficult, but I can still find and can still choose to focus on the positive and what is going right. The repaired hip is still doing incredibly well! This is a huge relief. Especially since PT says she thinks it is starting to compensate now for the other hip. I had noticed a few weeks ago when walking to class that the repaired hip still got tired and sometimes sore. However, this week, when I walked to class, it did not get tired or sore--just felt normal! However, the other hip did get tired and painful. I feel as if I simply cannot win. It is starting to seem impossible to be able to figure out how to fully support my entire body. I am not giving up but getting ever closer to wanting to do so. The medical situation is undermining everything else at present and stressors with school are further undermining medical situation. Caught and trapped.
I am making progress in some things in spite of the right hip being problematic. Swimming is going well and freestyle is back to normal--meaning I have to be super careful of my shoulder but both hips are handling kicking fine. Elliptical is going well and even the flared up, irritated, non op hip is tolerating that alright as long as I limit pace and duration. Stationary bike is still OK--some days it is fine, others I have to cut it short because of non op hip. I still cannot walk for exercise. Repaired hip was OK'd to try walking on land other than just to get around but the other hip is so irritated that I have not tried and am still doing all extra walking in the pool. I really want to go for a walk outside again but don't dare risk it right now.
I am very grateful for the support network I have. I almost titled this week either "Crash Course" or "Collision Course" as it felt as if all aspects of life were going wrong, physically collided, and all of the pieces hit me at once and almost knocked me down. This had been building for a few weeks, but I still did not really see it coming to this extent and got caught off guard. The few that I will let know when things are not going well went above and beyond to let me know they are there for me and will support me no matter what happens. It was difficult to acknowledge I needed help and to let others know, but needed to happen.
I have no idea what the future holds from here on any front right now. But, I know the Lord knows and He has me right where He wants me and when He is ready to move me elsewhere He will let me know. I need to trust Him, trust those supporting and counseling me. I need to be willing to let go of my original ideas if that is where He leads.
I am still my limit-pushing self and Friday evening when I did my usual stretches and noticed where range of motion was at, I became curious as to whether I could sit cross-legged again. So, I tried and this is the result. Not too bad!
I do not normally post links. However, I think what I read this morning fitting for the current circumstances. I also think the video link a friend had posted is also fitting. I am not reading anything into either of them, just aware of how appropriate they are.
https://thepianoguys.com/portfolio/okay/
This Is Exactly What You Need to Hear Today - OKAY - ThePianoGuys
http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/desert/streams-in-the-desert-september-24th.html
When the Spirit Shuts a Door - Streams in the Desert - September 24
After they were come to Mysia, they assayed to go into Bithyma: but the Spirit suffered them not (Acts 16:7).
What a strange prohibition! These men were going into Bithynia just to do Christ's work, and the door is shut against them by Christ's own Spirit.
I, too, have experienced this in certain moments. I have sometimes found myself interrupted in what seemed to me a career of usefulness. Opposition came and forced me to go back, or sickness came and compelled me to retire into a desert apart.
It was hard at such times to leave my work undone when I believed that work to be the service of the Spirit. But I came to remember that the Spirit has not only a service of work, but a service of waiting. I came to see that in the Kingdom of Christ there are not only times for action, but times in which to forbear acting. I came to learn that the desert place apart is often the most useful spot in the varied life of man--more rich in harvest than the seasons in which the corn and wine abounded. I have been taught to thank the blessed Spirit that many a darling Bithynia had to be left unvisited by me.
And so, Thou Divine Spirit, would I still be led by Thee. Still there come to me disappointed prospects of usefulness. Today the door seems to open into life and work for Thee; tomorrow it closes before me just as I am about to enter. Teach me to see another door in the very inaction of the hour. Help me to find in the very prohibition thus to serve Thee, a new opening into Thy service. Inspire me with the knowledge that a man may at times be called to do his duty by doing nothing, to work by keeping still, to serve by waiting. When I remember the power of the "still small voice," I shall not murmur that sometimes the Spirit suffers me not to go.
--George Matheson
--George Matheson
"When I cannot understand my Father's leading,
And it seems to be but hard and cruel fate,
I Still I hear that gentle whisper ever
pleading,God is working, God is faithful, ONLY WAIT."
And it seems to be but hard and cruel fate,
I Still I hear that gentle whisper ever
pleading,God is working, God is faithful, ONLY WAIT."
Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.
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