Finals Week: Writing on Demand

Finals week has caught up with me again.  I have been struggling to finish two short papers to finally complete requirements for a course I received an incomplete in last spring.  Why is it so hard to write these two papers?  They are even along the lines of where my greatest strengths in writing are.  I love black and white, logic, sequence, putting things together in order, thinking through how things fit.  Admittedly, I am not a writer, but critiques of science and research are far easier for me than creative writing.  Or so I have always thought.  Recently, I am beginning to wonder.  Why can I write a couple of pages in my journal in 30 minutes or so?  Why can I draft blog posts? Facebook notes? I do take the effort to make sure wording is accurate, anything I have quoted is appropriately cited, etc. So, why can I write these, but not assignments?  My latest conclusion (as of 5 minutes ago) is that I cannot write on demand.  I can free flow what I am thinking, learning, experiencing, etc.  I can vent out frustrations, negative thoughts, other less-than-admirable content.  What is so hard about writing something that I put the outline together myself, chose the papers I am to analyze, picked the topics based on interests?  Is it simply pressure of deadlines?  I don’t think so.  Why am I writing this now?  Because it gives me something to do when I am struggling to point of frustration with the assigned papers that absolutely must be finished ASAP.  So, I am washing dishes, cleaning, thinking as I work, jotting down the thoughts here.  Open documents on my computer? Why, the two assigned papers (still trying), and my journal for today of which this random piece is actually just one section. Hopefully, after my lovely little side track here, I will be able to again focus and get these papers finished...!!!