13 Weeks/3 Months: Regrouping

Hard to believe how far I have come in so little time, yet how challenging things still are.  The repaired hip is still doing incredibly well overall and I am truly thankful I was able to have surgery and that it has helped so much so early on.  I know this is a one-year recovery, so doing so well this early, really is unusual, and I am really grateful.

Yesterday was 13 weeks since the hip surgery, today is 3 months since the hip surgery, but also 10 months since the abdominal surgery.  I had recovered so quickly and so well from the abdominal surgery that I kept forgetting I had the surgery.  However, with everything being flared right now, that surgery is also relevant.  For one, my body has been through two surgeries in less than a year.  For another, that surgery and some of the scarring at one of the incision sites is interacting with recovery from the hip surgery.  This is not new information, but as we continue to try to problem solve, each little factor gets revisited with new perspective.

Regrouping refers to lots of things at this point.  I am having to rearrange a lot of ideas.  Rehab goals have had to be overhauled, managing the various other medical conditions have had to be rethought again, managing school has had to be rethought again.  There still are no long terms plans for managing everything, or anything.  We do have temporary plans in place for now, but still working on figuring out next steps and then trying to get things stabilized again. Multiple members of my medical team are involved at this point--primary care, physical therapist, hip surgeon. I trust them, but it is hard not knowing....

How can one small person be so hard to figure out how to support and get things managed?  How can one small person have so many different things going on in a single body? How can one small person keep fighting and hanging on and trying to live life fully?  The first parts are because that is how God made me and what He is doing in and through me.  The last part, is that He is sustaining me. In all, it is amazing that God actually takes notice of and loves this one small person.  No matter how insignificant I may feel at times, He loves me, He has a plan for me and my life, He knows what He is doing even through circumstances that appear impossible.

Psalm 139:13-16 (NKJV)
For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;[b]
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NKJV)
Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory,  while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 (NKJV)
Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Choosing to find and focus on what is going well and choosing to let go of everything beyond my control and the things that are not going well.  I am regaining better balance in life and that is slowly helping me regain better balance in overall coping.

link for this week :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIZitK6_IMQ


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