Week 6: Roller Coaster

Lots more highs and lows this week--it felt sort of like a roller coaster.  I was able to completely get rid of the crutches, and was given new exercises early in the week.  This was exciting and encouraging! However, the supposedly "good" hip threw a fit and kept me awake with pain all that night.  That resulted in me being told to back off the new exercises for now.  It is so frustrating when the "good" hip is slowing progress with rehabbing the hip that had surgery.  Seriously? (I was told the good hip is still carrying more load and needs time to calm down and we need to keep working on getting the other hip stronger.  It just will take a different approach if the "good" hip is not tolerating things. Sigh.)

Walking still feels weird and off as if something is not quite right and normal yet, but I am told gait looks good.  One explanation was that I had "walked" with a limp and with pain for three years prior to surgery so my body does not remember what pain-free, normal walking feels like.  A very careful evaluation identified some minor issues but these appear to be from muscle imbalances from atrophy. (It would not surprise me if there is apprehension at a subconscious level on my part as well as I learned to protect that joint for 3 years and it is hard to unlearn something like that all at once.)

This was one of those weeks where I had eight medical appointments, four all in one day.  I found out some things I was not anticipating.  More testing in process.  More medication changes in process. A little overwhelmed with actualities and possibilities. It is what it is.  It will be OK. Or, at least that is what I am telling myself.

I realized a week or so ago that I was four months out from the last cortisone injection and thus when I would have been allowed to get another injection if I had not had surgery.  However, I also realized that this is the first time I have not been barely hanging on and just trying to survive life until I can get another injection and start to move again. Yay!  So, surgery is already more effective than injections! I hoped it would be but had not expected to see it until later in the recovery process.  This is really encouraging!

PT later in the week went better. I was given modified versions of the exercises from earlier in the week plus some more new exercises, but some of these were ones I had done all of the time before surgery and were not really hip-focused--they had just required the hip to be stronger again before trying.  I still find it interesting how excited I get to be going back to things I used to do all of the time without thinking. Novelty? Marker of progress? Just the gradual removal of limitations and restrictions?  The return to normal routine?

Today marks 6 weeks post op and I was told I could try swimming!!!!  So, so, so excited!  I have been waiting for this  (and asking about this) for quite some time.  I was told to start slow and try just hanging onto the side and kicking and see how it feels.  Then, just freestyle for now as there is no way the hip is ready to try whip kick yet. The first attempt went really well!  Kicking hanging onto the side was fine but boring, so that lasted a matter of seconds.  I took off across to the other side of the diving well (staying out of the lap swimming lanes as I knew I'd be slow, and knew I did not want to be accidentally bumped by another swimmer). Freestyle actually went really well!  It felt so good to be actually swimming again!!!!  Yes, I am slow and awkward as kick is weak or non-existent, but I am swimming!  I did freestyle but did not want to wear out the irritated shoulder so did breaststroke with no kick at all (kept surgical side leg supported and still with my good leg so that neither was doing any work--especially since "good" hip is not really doing that great and breaststroke is what pushed it over the edge back in February).  The swimming was a great way to celebrate being 6 weeks post-op!  It was also a great way to end a somewhat frustrating week.

I came up with a new way to put into words my views on the recovery process that combines the various themes I have been working from since even before surgery.  The emphasis is still on being slow and careful and not letting impatience carry me away.  The new way I am thinking of things is that recovery is not a race to see how fast I can recover, but rather a journey to see how well I can recover.  Thus it is worth taking things at whatever pace I am able to do and not try to rush things along.

Although there were some really encouraging and really disappointing things that happened this week, overall, it was a good week,  I am still making forward progress, I am doing better in some ways than before surgery even though I still have a lot of healing and rehab to do yet.  I am encouraged and still hopeful.  I am also curious how the rest of this journey will unfold.

Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved. 

Highs and Lows: Week 5

This week was characterized by highs and lows. There were some very discouraging and disappointing things, but also some very exciting things.  I knew last weekend that this was going to be an interesting week (challenging or difficult would perhaps be more precise adjectives, but as always, trying to be positive).

I started out the week very discouraged and really struggling as my body (especially neck, back, bad shoulder, arms, hands, "good" hip) was just done even trying to move with crutches but I was still non-weight bearing.  For someone who does not like to be still, it was hard to have a body that did not want to move at all. Then, I found out that I got to try walking without crutches!  And, it went well enough to get to use only one crutch for a few days then down to no crutches later in the week at home.  (I still have to have one crutch when out and around.) I was so excited and relieved! My body is also relieved at the reprieve!  

New things I have discovered that I can do in the past week include putting on socks and tying shoes! (Maybe not in normal ways yet, but I can at least get them on!)

I am back to walking in the pool, PT exercises in the pool and loving being in water.  I have also practiced walking up and down stairs in the pool.  The walking and stairs practice in the pool has made walking and stairs on land much easier. Because I can now stand on both feet, I am also back to some of the other exercises I was doing before surgery that help with managing the other chronic pain plus keeping up overall flexibility and strength.  It feels really good to be gradually shifting ever closer to pre-op normal routines. I am also finally able to get back to some of the other therapies and resources and with their aid starting to make more progress with the neck, back, and shoulder pain issues.  

There were some disappointments this week.  I had the opportunity to get a ride back to Nebraska to see family.  I have not been back since Christmas break.  However, the consensus was that as challenging as I had found sitting through class the previous week, that travel this soon was maybe too early and more of a concern.  So, I made the hard choice to stay home rather than risk a setback.  I then ended up sleeping 12-13 hours both nights and figure my body needed the rest of a weekend at home doing nothing other than sleep and PT exercises (or that is what it felt like I did the entire weekend).

Those who know me, know I like to be independent and test limits.  I am and have been as compliant as I know how to be.  However, the disappointment of having to stay home this weekend led to pushing against all other limits that fell under what I considered to be “safe” limits to push against.  So, I worked on campus both morning and afternoon Friday, was right at the maximum time limits for all of the exercises thus far.  (Maybe exceeded maximum times a little—mostly on accident, but possibly not being as careful of time as usual.)  I want so badly to exceed some of the other limits and know my body can and almost 100% certain the hip can also handle it but because I was told very clearly what that limit was, I am still observing it, but right at it, never under it.  (Note (8/7/16): this was written Friday and since then I have quite unintentionally exceeded limits a few times.  I use my phone as both stopwatch and timer and intentionally use a timer to prevent exceeding the time limits I have been told to observe.  Except, my phone had issues so I restarted it and it forgot it was timing and it did not occur to me to check—oops. No idea how long I was on the bike but know it was longer than the limit.  Then, got a phone call later and knew the timer was set and running so thought I was ok.  Except that when the timer went off while on the phone, it sounded the same as incoming text message so I ignored it and ended up significantly exceeding time limit.  Oops.  Another time, I started the timer but it seemed like a really long time so checked—and for some reason the timer had not ever started.  Oops.  So, moral of the story is, I do know with 100% certainty that my body and hip both can handle longer times.  I will dutifully go back to staying within limits but will also be communicating by how much I accidentally exceeded limits and see if limits can be increased again.)

Something that was a concern before surgery and is still a concern is the “good” hip.  It has always gotten sore every time the bad hip flared even before surgery, but being on crutches so long was really hard on it.  I have been hoping that getting off crutches will let it calm down, but so far, the “good” hip is more painful than the hip that had surgery, which does not actually hurt at all anymore.  I am not worrying, so much as watching.

On the positive, I had been a little apprehensive that weaning off crutches would increase pain in the hip that had surgery as it was finally having to carry weight again.  But so far, so good!  It will get twinges at times, and it was a tad sore and achy early on, but for the most part feels absolutely nothing!  It still seems so weird for it not to feel pain!

Overall, I am still making good progress.  Yes, there are highs and lows, but this is true of any situation.  I am still choosing to focus on what is going well and learn from what is not going as well.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NKJV)

In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.  

One Month

I know I just posted an update yesterday, but most of it was written Friday.  Also a LOT changed between yesterday and today!  Amazing how much things can change between 4 weeks and one month.

What I wrote yesterday in my journal:
"4 weeks post op and tired and grouchy. The hip is still doing really well, but the other chronic pain (neck, back, shoulder, other hip) is fed up with being on crutches and complaining rather loudly. :( I finally cried for the first time since surgery this morning. I am still wiped out from class and having to be on campus last week, but did not sleep well. So, I woke tired and stiff and my hands, arms, and shoulder did not want to bear my weight with the crutches. I was home from church yet again and honestly cannot recall the last time I was able to go as I had not been in over a month before surgery either."

Then this morning, my arms were more willing to carry my weight but my "good" hip was not wanting to carry my weight. I also woke with the surgical hip swollen again even though I had been careful and used the weekend to rest and recover from last week. So, I started out this morning pretty frustrated and discouraged as well.

I went to the pool and walked in the water and that seemed to go OK. I had physical therapy this afternoon. She had started to have me put weight on the hip last week, but only partial and only a few seconds at a time. Today she had me practice walking! I started holding onto the railing, then with one crutch, then with nothing! I can actually walk! I was pretty weak and shaky with no crutches and gait was off so for now I have to keep one crutch, but it is only one crutch and it is not supposed to have much weight through it! Oh, and no more purple leg as of this afternoon! It was very purple this morning but not now! So, putting weight back on it really is helping!

I went from really discouraged this morning to really excited this afternoon! Yay for a huge step! Alright, so I actually take small steps, but pretty excited to be taking any steps! I know this is a process and I know to be careful and not push limits. I was warned that although some of my joints and muscles will be very grateful to be off crutches, others will not like and will let me know. I am so grateful to be moving on to this next stage of recovery and rehab!

Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.  

Crock Pot Spaghetti

Just because I am recovering from surgery, does not mean I am not cooking or creating new recipes.  On the contrary, I am adding new crock pot recipes since crock pot cooking is the easiest anyway and especially now. I am still trying to incorporate as large a variety of whole foods as possible, thus playing with new ideas for recipes.

This was an idea from quite some time ago after successfully trying crock pot Alfredo.  That success opened the door to all sorts of pasta recipes in the crock pot.  I first tried the spaghetti before surgery and it was fine, but not really the way I wanted it.  So, the second attempt was today and turned out much better.

I make my own spaghetti sauce and Italian sausage and used those for this recipe, thus am including these recipes as well.

Crock Pot Spaghetti

Spaghetti sauce (see recipe below)
1 10-ounce package of frozen chopped spinach
1 pound Italian sausage (see recipe below)
6 ounces additional water
~1/4 cup olive oil (I did not measure, but just poured)
~6 ounces Parmesan (I did not measure)
1 package (13.5 ounces, I think) whole wheat spaghetti

I did not make the sauce in advance, I just dumped all of the ingredients (except salt) in the crock pot, added a frozen block of spinach, frozen pre-cooked Italian sausage and let the frozen items thaw and cook and the sauce simmer to allow flavors to blend.  I then added the olive oil, then the Parmesan and let that melt.  When it was nearing time to eat, I added the spaghetti and let that cook until tender.  For angel hair spaghetti it only took maybe 15 minutes to cook?  I was not keeping track.

This was really, really good!  The previous time I did not add cheese and I used chicken instead of Italian sausage.  It was good, but not as full of flavors.

Spaghetti Sauce

2 6-ounce cans tomato paste
3 cans water
2 teaspoons onion powder
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon basil
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1 teaspoon celery seed
salt to taste (start with 1/2 teaspoon)

Combine all ingredients and simmer ~30 minutes (either on the stove or in the microwave).

Italian Sausage

1 pound ground turkey
2 teaspoons onion powder
1 teaspoon salt (try less)
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/8 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon ground fennel
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1/8 teaspoon thyme
1/16 teaspoon cayenne

Mix all ingredients together, brown and drain.


Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.   

Class, Challenges, Choices, Caution, and Curiosity (aka Week 4 Update)

I know the title probably sounds completely unrelated to recovery from surgery.  However, it is very much related.  I had class all of this past week.  Class has been challenging for years as both sitting and standing bother me.  I had talked with the surgeon and physical therapist and neither were optimistic that I'd be able to handle sitting through class this early after surgery.  One suggestion was standing...but I have circulation issues on the operative leg whenever I stand very long--as in the leg turns purple and cold.  I was as proactive as I knew how to be.  I had ice packs with me, the pillow I had used to sit on before surgery, etc. But...I still ran into issues with increased swelling, plus getting sore and achy. I also encountered an unanticipated challenge: how utterly exhausting it was to get around campus on crutches. I was completely wiped out the first day.

Choices.  I had to make choices on some hard things this week.  I had to choose not to attend class one day in order to let my body have the rest it needed.  I had to choose not to attend a picnic I had been looking forward to for the same reasons--my body was not up to going. Instead of class, I ended up with a doctor appointment to check the swelling and circulation issues. The swelling was down by then. However, the circulation issues were very evident without me even drawing attention to them--the leg was obviously purple and it was cold to touch. the conclusion was it needs weight on it and it should get better once it is weight bearing again.

Caution versus curiosity.  These have been one of my challenges for years.  I am a weird mix of super cautious--afraid to try things, with really curious--wondering what happens if I try and testing limits.  The initial stage after surgery finds me super cautious and almost afraid to move.  Thereafter, things start to shift and I start trying things partly to see what I can do, partly just to test what the actual limit is. I do not like limitations and restrictions.  I have lived with them much of the past 14 years.  I understand their purpose in some instances and am as compliant as I know how to be. But the more restrictions in place, the harder I start to fight for more independence--still complying as well as I can, but finding other ways to be as independent as possible.

I would say that overall, things are still going well.  But, I also have to admit that this has been the most challenging week yet.  Swelling returned with the sitting for class, the hip actually got sore and achy this week as well--suspected to be a combination of sitting, and adding weight onto it. My neck, back, shoulder, both hands, right hip are really, really tired and getting more uncomfortable with each day.  It is hard to want to even move sometimes. Friday evening--the first time I was actually discouraged from surgery related issues other than being tired.  Monday I almost cried myself to sleep from exhaustion.  Friday was getting discouraged because things were tired, sore, achy.  It was harder to want to move at all.  I sort of felt as if things are going backward right now.

Exciting things:  I was in the pool 4 days this week!  I was able to drive myself to class. I accomplished things that I did not think I could yet.  I also did some things that I probably should not have done yet. After another rough night and discouraging morning, I made a list of all of the positive things.  That helped.  I know that in the grand scheme, things are actually still going very well and I really do not have much to complain about. I do have much to be grateful for and I am choosing to focus on these.

Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.   

Three Weeks!

Three weeks is an exciting "milestone" in that it means I get to start adding more weight onto surgical leg, which in turn means I am that much closer to being done with crutches!

Exciting news!  I was cleared for the pool for real.  (Before was only with strict warnings regarding keeping the incisions protected and dry.)  So, of course I went to the pool and walked in the water!!!  It felt really weird at first.  It was strange trying to figure out how to tell my body to put weight on the leg it has been so carefully protecting for three weeks and that had hurt for so long even before that.  Then, I just hung out in the deep water to unweight everything and give my tired neck, back, shoulder, and both hips a much needed break.

Crutches are challenging.  Hence being so excited about being closer to being done with them. My left shoulder and right hip are really not happy with my left leg getting a free ride.  My hands are not too happy about things either--sore and tender.  It is hard to be feeling well enough to want to be up and doing more but have a body that is negating the idea with every try.

Other than the challenges with crutches, there have been a few other incidents that made this a more challenging week than the previous ones.  I am still choosing to focus on the positive as much as possible, but have gotten a bit discouraged at times. This is not an easy recovery and I am not pretending it is.   It still is much easier than I had thought it would be and I am grateful for that.  I am grateful for a surgeon and his staff who respond to questions and concerns promptly.

I am still trying to find something new that I can do each day. In some cases, it is not a new thing, so much as gradually returning to normal ways of doing things, rather than the vastly modified versions I have figured out from necessity. In some ways having lived with so much pain for so long before surgery was a blessing in that I had already figured out various methods of getting things done and that has made recovery so much easier.  I already had modified ways of getting dressed, getting into cars, cooking, etc.  I am also working on seeing how much variety I can get with foods, especially vegetables--at least I am getting variety in something even if not so much with activity.

Physical therapy is going well and I am making rapid progress.  I cannot always notice the progress on a daily basis, but when I look back at what I was doing a week ago, then it is obvious how far I have come.  This week, we added back an exercise I used to do before surgery.  Funny getting excited about something I used to do without thinking. Context and perspective make things appear so differently.  I am grateful for a physical therapist who knows me, knows what I was capable of before surgery, knows my tendencies, then finds ways to keep me from getting bored, but also holds me back from hurting myself by trying to push forward too fast.

Overall, I am continuing to do well.  I am so grateful to family and friends who have come alongside and helped me out so much the past few weeks!  I am so grateful for a loving God who sustains and meets all needs!

Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.   

Week Two Update

I am now two weeks out from the hip surgery and still doing really well!  I keep thinking things will get worse at some point, but thus far it hasn't happened.  Coming off crutches might change the story as currently, the repaired hip is getting a break from weight bearing and thus so is that entire leg and that side of low back, etc.  For now, I am not worrying about what might (or might not) happen later, but rather choosing to enjoy each good moment as it comes. It is so weird and so nice not having the constant, nagging, annoying, often debilitating pain in my hip.  

I can do a lot, but finding that just because I can does not mean I should. I am progressing in physical therapy ahead of schedule so we are sort of in a holding pattern until my body has had more time to heal before advancing to the next level of rehab. Although there is a lot I can do, there are still a lot of basics that I cannot do. I am choosing to focus on what I can do and not what I cannot. I am also trying to find at least one new thing each day that I can do. Some days it is more than one! 

Some new challenges are surfacing, but these were largely anticipated.  My right hip is getting tired and sore, but it has done that all along whenever the left hip was flared even before surgery, so with left being non-weight bearing, right is carrying full load.  (At least I am small and do not weigh much!)  Shoulder is also getting tired and sore, but since this has also happened in the past even without crutches, I am just amazed it has taken this long to happen.  I should be half way through needing the crutches as long as things stay on track....

I am so grateful for all of the work invested before surgery into helping me go into this surgery as strong as possible in spite of the various limitations and restrictions.  It has certainly helped the recovery to go smoothly and well thus far.  I had the support of so many through the "pre-hab" stage. 

I am also so grateful for all who have been praying for me prior to surgery, through surgery and now during recovery!  I am also thankful to all who are assisting me with rides, help at home, etc.  I am also grateful for all of those I have never met before who see me on crutches and open doors for me, or offer to carry things for me!  And, yes I have made a solo trip out all by myself.  I drove myself to the gym and got in the pool!  It felt so good to be in water again!!!  I was cleared for both driving and being in water--with strict precautions regarding submerging the incisions and protecting them.  But, both had been discouraged...so, this was a one-time occurrence.  However, I am hoping to get back to both driving and being in the pool regularly again soon.  Anyway, the reason I went was partly just to see how it would go, partly because I really wanted to, partly because I needed the boost of confidence that I can get myself places if needed. 

I am so grateful for God's faithfulness and provision in all things!

Copyright © 2016 by Steph. All rights reserved.