Year End Thoughts

This is the last day of 2010! I am so ready for this year to end and the next to begin. New beginnings are like an opportunity to start over. The past year certainly had its challenges. God used them to teach me so many things. However, I still struggled so much with fear and doubt. I am praying to trust Him better.

There were so many times I wanted to know how much longer things would continue. Looking back on the past 11 months with still no end in sight makes me so grateful that I did not and do not know the duration. Had I known 11 months ago where things would be today it would have been even more tempting to just give up. Had I known 8 years ago that this would last this long and then inexplicably worsen 11 months ago, it would have been even harder to persevere. God truly is good, loving, faithful, and merciful in all He does! He upholds and carries me when things appear impossible. He sends encouragement when I am discouraged. He gives joy when things seem worst. He gives comfort, strength. On my own, I am completely incapable. In Him, I can do all things.

I failed so many times in the past months. I was short and irritable with others (family, friends, coworkers, etc.). I was negative in attitude. I was complaining. I dwelt on limitations rather than abilities I still have. I doubted and feared. I placed reliance on human means rather than God. I felt sorry for myself. I allowed myself to feel alone rather than look to the Lord for fellowship. So many times, He brought people to me for comfort, encouragement, and fellowship. He gave me joy. He gave me the strength to keep going. He showed Himself faithful in the midst of my failures.

My desperate plea and prayer is that I carry the lessons learned and victories won in the past year forward into the new year and leave behind the failures. I have no great expectations for complete healing or full relief. I do carry hope that in God’s strength I can endure to the end and bring glory to Him in all.

Blizzard!

I am nice and warm and cozy at home this evening even as the wind blows and the snow falls...and blows. Things are being canceled due to the blizzard outside. Inside, I am making cookies, finishing laundry, grading, listening to Christmas music, watching the snow, listening to the wind, washing dishes, and in general probably doing too many things at once! Yes, I really can hear the wind over the music.

It has been a good day. I have not gotten a lot done, but it has been good anyway. The weather has been bad, but it has still been a good day. I am learning that how "good" a day is has nothing to do with what happens on the day and everything to do with how I perceive it! Posted on my computer desktop is the verse, "This is the day the LORD has made;We will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24. God has made every day and given it to me. Rejoicing is a choice. I can choose to rejoice regardless of circumstances! Rejoicing in every day regardless of circumstances is not a new lesson. However, it has been a challenge to always choose to rejoice every day no matter what the day was like or what was going on. (See note about what is a bad day?) That note was exploring whether what I would typically think of as a bad day really was a bad day. I have decided they are not bad days. Again, it is a matter of perception and making choices.

Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving, or giving thanks, is a choice. We are to give thanks in all (1 Thes. 5:18). Below is a list of blessings that I wrote out last summer. I found it today when looking for something else and was blessed all over again. This seemed like an appropriate topic to share so close to the Thanksgiving holiday.

Blessings
July 25 2010

God is good and faithful in all He does. Sometimes, from our small human perspective, we lose sight of Him and the eternal goal. It is a choice to remember that He is sovereign and that whatever He sends or allows are gifts and to be accepted with thankfulness.

Instead of getting frustrated and discouraged with the current situation, I am trying to think of everything I am grateful for. The following list is not necessarily in any particular order, but simply as things came to mind.

I am grateful for:
-My wonderful, supportive, loving family. They pray for me and let me talk/cry through situations with them. I was raised in a loving, God-fearing home!
-My extended family is also a blessing!
-Friends! I have such great friends in so many places. All have been an encouragement to me, and a support in hard times.
-Church families: The first one in Lincoln, NE where I grew up, then Tulsa, OK when I was staying with Mom when she was in aggressive cancer treatment in 2001, then Council Bluffs, IA during my internship, now Ankeny, IA.
-Bible study groups: college and career that meets in Ames, the small ladies’ fellowship group on ISU campus, the ladies’ study through Lake Country. These all are a refreshment and encouragement to me.
-co workers who go out of their way to help me out.
-friends in similar situations to mine. While it is hard to deal with suffering and pain on a daily basis and to know others are also, it is a HUGE encouragement to have others who are in the same circumstances and fully understand all of it. It is such an encouragement to be able to share the lessons that God has taught through otherwise hard times.

Then there are also the little things that can seem really big:
-a day with low enough pain levels that I don’t need medication to manage it.
- the days with high pain levels when I have to cry out to God for the strength to get through each moment.
-a physician or therapist who really listens and works with me.
-swimming! I don’t hurt when I’m in water!

I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father Who watches over me unceasingly!

Update on Mom

My mom had more scans done and learned the results last week. The cancer spot on her liver has shrunk so dramatically the radiologist did not see it! Praise the Lord! She is to continue on this chemo for three more months. Then, if everything is still stable, she should be able to take a break from chemo! She would really like that after over 2 years of chemotherapy.

Autumn

Pumpkin Cookies

Apple Crisp

Peanuts and Candy Corn

Conflicting Thoughts

Conflicting thoughts really sums up my quiet time readings that I referred to in my previous post. Contrasts are something that usually catch my attention and this was no exception.

I had read from Daily Light first, then my Bible. A little background information may help put things into perspective as well. At my last appointment with the specialist, I had a friend with me to be an extra set of ears. She had asked if chronic pain ever went away and the physician responded that it did not in his experience. This was both hard and good for me to hear. Hard from the perspective that this was a professional opinion that this is what I will be dealing with the rest of my life. Good in that even after nearly 8 years, I keep clinging to the hope that one day the pain will go away and not come back. This gave a more realistic view of the situation. The following are my readings from the morning of October 6, 2010.

From Daily Light:
"The Lord God omnipotent reigneth." "I know that thou canst do everything." "The things which are impossible with men are possible with God." "Abba Father, all things are possible unto thee." "According to your faith be it unto you." "Be strong and courageous, be not afraid nor dismayed, ...there be more with us than with him." (Revelation 19:6, Job 42:2, Luke 18:27, Mark 14:6, Matthew 9:29, 2 Chronicles 32:7.)
My thoughts after reading this: I have no cause for fear. I have a loving heavenly Father Who can do anything. He has allowed/given me the pain. He can take it away/heal me if that is best. If not, He gives me the grace and strength to get through each moment.
My actual overall perspective was that even if the physician thinks of complete healing as impossible, God can do the impossible. God can heal me if He chooses! Yet, maybe I am lacking in faith? One of the verses refers to healing according to measure of faith. I do honestly believe God can do anything. However, after years of living with pain, possibly my faith in the specific healing in this area has weakened? (Another contrast: I keep hoping to one day be free from pain, yet as the years go by, I think of it as less likely.)

From my Bible reading that same morning:
2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (A passage that I have found very encouraging over the years. The timing of it coming right after the earlier readings and thoughts struck me.)
"To keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassingly great revelations, there was given to me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then am I strong."
My thoughts on these verses that morning:
These verses are so encouraging! They fit especially well after reading/writing from Daily Light this morning. God knows what He is doing. I do not need to know his reason/plan. I do need to trust and rest in Him. (I'm kind of afraid to pray for healing as I'm not sure of God's goal with the pain for me.)

After the earlier readings, I was thinking of renewing my prayers for complete healing from the pain. After the later readings, I was afraid to pray for healing. God has done so much in me through it. He must still have some purpose in it. (I am fine with others praying for my healing! I am just uncertain enough to pray for it on my own behalf.)

The contrast between the two sets of verses and corresponding thoughts really caught my attention. This is "conflict" that God can bring into agreement, but that I cannot.

What is a Bad Day?

What is a bad day? This is something I have thinking about a lot lately. It seems like right now life is one bad day after another. The bright spots have been my quiet times with the Lord. In fact, these times with the Lord seem brighter and deeper and more encouraging and refreshing than usual. Is this because of the background of pain and discouragement? Or, is it that God is using the "bad" days to show me my utter dependence upon Him? I honestly do not know the answer to these questions. I suspect it is a combination, but primarily the last one. It is so humbling to realize that it takes this degree of pain to make me realize how helpless I am and just how much I need God's grace and strength for everything.

Week 2 of new medication. Last week was awful. This week, the first couple of days were so much better. I was starting to get excited and think maybe we had found something to help break the pattern of ongoing pain. Then came today. What happened today? Not sure...lots of pain is all I know. Pain that refused to respond and left me fighting to focus, fighting tears, simply trying to make it to the end of the day. Lots of prayer...

Was I putting too much reliance on yet another human solution? Maybe? Regardless, the Lord has reminded me yet again that He is in control. I keep talking of pain control, or pain management. The reality is that there is no semblance of control and I am really not managing things. But, God is with me-carrying me. He loves me and desires the best for me-even if it means pain to achieve His purpose. In all, I must trust and rest fully in Him. He is sovereign, loving and good no matter how things may look at times.

My quiet time this morning was good-exciting and thought provoking. Interesting that it came on a day that ended up like today. I will have to post once I get the thoughts a bit more organized...

God's Grace is Sufficient-Always!

From Daily Light this evening:

Who maketh thee to differ from another? and what hast thou that thou didst not receive?

By the grace of God I am what I am.--Of his own will begat he us with the word of truth.--It is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy.--Where is boasting then? It is excluded.--Christ Jesus . . . is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption: . . . He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.

You hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins; wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience: among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others.--Ye are washed, . . . ye are sanctified, . . . ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.

1 COR. 4. 7. 1 Co. 15. 10.--Ja. 1. 18.-- Ro. 9. 16.--Ro. 3. 27.--1 Co. 1. 30, 31. Ep. 2. 1-3.--1 Co. 6. 11.

http://www.mun.ca/rels/restmov/texts/dasc/DLDP1002.HTM

~*~

It has been a hard day after a long hard several weeks. It is always good to be reminded of where my strength comes from and that I am not sufficient in and of myself. God gives strength and grace to meet each need. He knows the path He has prepared for me and He knows and provides for every need. I must trust Him fully and rest in Him.

I am honestly being stretched far beyond my strength. I have found myself crying to the Lord in the evenings in pain and exhaustion that I simply cannot keep going like this. He gently reminds that He knows that I can't and that I must stop trying and instead rest in Him and allow Him to carry me through. His grace is sufficient!

Update on Mom: Prayer Request

My mom had scans last week and learned the results yesterday. The spot on her liver has grown again. Thankfully, there are no new spots. But, this still indicates that the chemo is no longer effective. She had been getting progressively more tired over the past several weeks and thought it might have been that the chemo was now affecting her red blood cell counts, but those are fine. Instead, they are thinking it is the cumulative effect of the chemo itself. Anyway, instead of having chemo yesterday as scheduled, they are waiting until the middle of next week. This will give her body a little bit of a break as well as give time to weigh options and make decisions regarding what chemotherapy to try next. Please pray for wisdom for my parents and the oncologist in the decision process. Please also pray for strength and return of energy for my mom as well as healing for her if it be the Lord’s will. In all, God is sovereign and good!

Quiet Time Thoughts

Below is what I read last night and some of thoughts that went with it.

From Daily Light on the Daily Path by Jonathan Bagster

http://www.mun.ca/rels/restmov/texts/dasc/DLDP0820.HTM

If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small.

He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.--My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.--He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him.--The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms: and he shall thrust out the enemy from before thee.

I looked for some to take pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none.

Every high priest taken from among men is ordained for men in things pertaining to God, . . . who can have compassion on the ignorant, and on them that are out of the way; so also Christ, . . . though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered; and being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him.--Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows.

PROV. 24. 10. Is. 40. 29.--2 Co. 12. 9.-- Ps. 91. 15.--De. 33. 27. Ps. 69. 20. He. 5. 1, 2, 5, 8, 9.--Is. 53. 4.

I read this last night while in a lot of pain. I could not even write my thoughts on it I hurt so much. But, it also really spoke to me. It was both encouraging and convicting.

Copied from my journal-written this morning for last night:

God gives strength, grace. His grace is sufficient! My weakness is an opportunity for His strength to show! I must not give up. (These are written 8/21/10 am because I was in so much pain last night when I read this that I could not write. Nonetheless, I was encouraged, even excited at how well it all fit.)

Rejoicing in God's faithfulness and goodness in every situation!

Update

God is so good!

Last weekend, I was visiting with a couple of friends who have had MRIs done, found them helpful in terms of diagnosis and treatment, and strongly recommended I see if I could get one done. I was considering asking for one when I had my appointment Monday in Des Moines with the specialist, but was not really sure how to go about asking for one. When I saw the doctor on Monday, he requested an MRI-without me saying anything! (I think it was partially the duration of things and partially that I was in more pain when I saw him than last time and it gave him a different perspective.) As I was making calls the next morning to arrange for the necessary referral for the MRI, I was informed that sometimes the student insurance will not cover the scan. I requested prayer that God would make His will in the matter clearly known. If that included working things out with insurance, then so be it. If not, then that I would accepting of that. My physician at the health center made the referral, but sometimes the insurance still does not cover. Also, this is right at the transition between last year's plan and the new year's plan. I signed up for insurance for the new period early last week, but have not received my card yet and this was part of the issue with the scan.

I called the clinic Thursday morning to check back and was told the insurance would cover the MRI! Praise God for answered prayer!

On Friday, I got to the clinic for my scan early and thus got in and done early as well. I finished the scan just minutes after I was scheduled to start. The gal who did it did a good job of explaining to me what to expect. As I was being slid into the machine, there were a couple of nature scenes taped to the "ceiling" of the machine, one of which said, "Whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, think about these things." That was a great reminder of where to direct my thoughts!!! I was told that my doctor should have the results Monday. He had already told me he will call with the results when he has them. I do not actually see him again until late September. He does not anticipate the MRI showing anything, but I am praying that it will be an accurate picture of the true situation and for wisdom for the doctor regardless of what the scan shows-or does not show.

I came home afterward and just went to bed. I was so tired and was already on medication and it was not keeping up. I think all the driving over the past several days has taken its toll...praying I get a chance to recover over the weekend.

Trusting and resting in Him!

Aftermath

It has taken awhile for me to even be able to get to the point where I could take pictures or process the aftermath from the flooding. To a certain extent, in the initial stages of the flooding the reality of the situation had not fully sunk in. By last Friday, when I first was able to get back to my place, I took a few pictures that morning, but by that afternoon, I was so tired of the whole mess, I could not deal with it anymore. Everything stunk and was dirty and muddy looking. There were water lines on everything and new electric meters replacing the old ones that had been submerged. I had power, but when I checked the milk in my fridge, it was sour. This suggested that the whole fridge and freezer were probably a total loss in terms of food. If I had not gone back to Scott and Hannah’s and seen them and my smiley baby niece, I would probably have had a meltdown. This week, on Thursday, I walked part of my favorite pathway. It looks so sad. The flood waters damaged so much. Yesterday, I took my camera and caught some of it. However, without being able to see the whole thing, the true magnitude is lost. It is so sad to see what had been such a pretty and peaceful area, look so torn apart. Today, when I had time to walk further along the pathway, I was saddened to find it suddenly ended with no indication of where the path normally goes. All was covered in sand and fallen trees.

This makes me think of my physical condition in some ways. Having once been very healthy and strong, not having to be careful or take thought of what I did and how I did it makes it harder to accept the reality that I can no longer live like that. Now, it takes effort to do basic, everyday tasks. I have to plan what and how to do things in order to not overdo it, yet maximize what ability I do have. The flooding itself did not do too much to me. Yes, I had to be evacuated by boat and yes, I lost the food in my fridge and freezer. But, I was able to salvage some from the fridge and quite a bit from the freezer. Compared with those who are dealing with the water damage, I am really very well off. The biggest impact the flooding had on me was to interfere with the various therapies, exercises, routines, etc. that I had been incorporating over the past several months in dealing with the pain. Pain levels are definitely less controlled now than prior to the flooding. The extra driving in particular has been hard. Yet, even in this God is sovereign and allowed things to happen as they did. My task is to simply trust.

Thanking and praising Him for going before and being with me all the way!

Another New Day-God is Good!!

Beautiful lakefront property! (And a partially submerged bus stop shelter.)
Some chose to ignore the warning to remove cars from the parking lot.
Being evacuate by boat with another rescue boat in front of us.
Landing on dry ground.

Well, I have had an adventurous morning! I woke to no power and to widespread flooding. I was stranded at my apartment with no way out due to the deep and rising water. Between watching the storm and rising waters last night and watching the rising waters and rescue boats this morning, I have been meeting and visiting with a lot of my neighbors! I was content to let those who really needed out go with the first boat loads. My apartment is on second floor and should not be in any danger. I did pack a few things and get ready while waiting. By the time I was able to get on a boat, they were forcing all to evacuate.

From what I have heard and seen, this is setting new flood records for this area. While it was interesting to watch while nothing was damaged, I feel bad for those who did not move their cars, or whose apartments did get water. At the same time, God is still in control. It was exciting to see how He had gone ahead even in this. My apartment-which was assigned to me when I moved-is on the top floor in the building that is on the highest ground! (I did not know it was on highest ground until this morning when seeing where the water was.) My work schedule for today had absolutely nothing on it that requred me to be present. It is challenging getting anywhere with the flooding affecting so much throughout the city.

It is interesting to see where priorities lie when packing for an unknown duration and with only a backpack to fill to take with me. I cannot go back to my apartment until the water goes down.

I read the following last night before I went to bed:
From Daily Light (http://www.mun.ca/rels/restmov/texts/dasc/DLDP0810.HTM)
"Whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe. [Or, set on high.] PROV. 29. 25."

With the rising waters and incoming storms last night, this was a good reminder of where my security truly is! I never felt afraid. I was curious at times as I did not know what to expect, but don't remember ever feeling fear. I slept well once I finally got to bed to stay (was up at various times watching the storm and the flooding progress). God is good!

A New Day

My favorite bridge on my favorite walking path.

So, the trees and bushes are not really supposed to be in the water...
The water across the path makes this sign unnecessary in my opinion. And, yes, I did go around another sign just like this in order to get my pictures of the flooded bridge. (But, I did not go around this sign-very dutiful citizen that I am! =)

These pictures are actually from yesterday, but the water has not receded much, so it still pretty much looks like this-worse in some places, better in others. Yesterday (and today) was a new day after the storm and downpour Sunday night. I just checked and the creek is rising again. So, I may have to move my car for the night to avoid flooding issues...sigh. (The river is 2 feet over flood stage and the creek (right across from where I live) is 1.5 feet over flood stage.) In the last picture (taken from a window in my apartment building), you can see the brand new "lake" that appeared yesterday morning and is still very much there. Normally, that is an empty field and the creek usually remains in its banks on the far side of the field-well behind the bushes that stick out into the middle of the field. However, in the year that I have lived here, this is the third time I have seen the creek out of its banks like this. Although, this time is the most widespread flooding. As long as it does not do any damage, it is interesting to watch the water rise.

Mount Dishmore

Oh, How Sweet the Seasons Are!

God is Good!

God is so good! My readings one evening were so fitting for the circumstances. I just have to share!

Let your requests be made known unto God.

ABBA, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.--There was given to me a thorn in the flesh. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities.

I poured out my complaint before him; I shewed before him my trouble.--Hannah . . . was in bitterness of soul, and prayed unto the LORD, and wept sore. And she vowed a vow, and said, O LORD of hosts, if thou wilt indeed look on the affliction of thine handmaid, and . . . and wilt give unto thine handmaid a man child, then I will give him unto the LORD all the days of his life. . . . The LORD remembered her.

We know not what we should pray for as we ought.--He shall choose our inheritance for us.PHI. 4. 6. Mar. 14. 36.--2 Co. 12. 7-9. Ps. 142. 2.--1 Sa. 1. 9-11, 19. Ro. 8. 26.-- Ps. 47. 4.

The above is copied from Daily Light for July 28 in the evening. (http://www.mun.ca/rels/restmov/texts/dasc/DLDP0728.HTM)

My comments after reading (copied from my journal):
Wow! I cried when I read... Today was long and it got hard. I was tired of pain and limitations... All these verses spoke to me.

It is so exciting to have a God how knows, loves and cares. He knows how I long to be free from pain. How I long to be able to do things again-be "normal." Yet, he has used these exact things to teach me some precious lessons. In ALL, God is sovereign, faithful, loving, good!

Productive Day

List that I made yesterday for today that I just now looked at for the first time today and checked off/updated…

-wake up...but not until very late! =) *DONE
-quiet time-with heat on back/neck *DONE
-PAY RENT *DONE (all other bills already paid)
-prescribed exercises, then long walk *DONE
-start laundry and keep on top of it until all loads (3-4) done *DONE (3 loads)
-clean ENTIRE apartment *DONE! (OK, so maybe there are a few things I missed-such as dusting, moving things to vacuum, etc...)
-NAP!!! oops...tomorrow...
-make up pasta salad recipe and then try it and see if it is any good! =) Nope…some other time.
-make gingerbread cookies with frosting and sprinkles-for the fun of it *DONE =)
-work on PowerPoint for lab meeting Monday *In process-not done yet... (did stats, though-just basic ones)
-SLEEP!!! not yet...

extra (not planned):
-crock pot of chicken, potatoes, carrots...DONE!
-gas up and wash car...DONE!
-air drying laundry-due to towels not getting all the way dry and me being too cheap to run the dryer again for them...sigh...
-loaded, ran dishwasher...DONE (just needs unloaded...tomorrow!)
-listen to hours of "Beyond" while working
-watch as people moved out, cleaned, etc. (had to drive around piles of junk by dumpster, rather challenging...especially when it hurts to turn my head, but I had to see to make sure I didn’t hit anything.)
-made it most of the day without any meds!!!! Yay!!!

Praise the Lord for grace and strength for each and every day!

Aunt & Niece

Pictures of my niece, Ava, and I, both at approximately 9 months of age. You can tell we are related, but are certainly different people!

God's Grace

God’s grace. God’s grace is what keeps me going in spite of pain. His grace is what gives me the ability to smile when hurting. God’s grace is responsible for who I am and all I do. In my own strength, I am nothing, but by God’s grace I can do all He asks of me.

God has truly given me the strength and grace to keep relying on Him one moment at a time. He has taught me so much of Himself and given me a new appreciation for the sufferings of others. My "suffering" does not even come close to what the Lord Jesus endured-on my behalf.

1 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Made it!

I made it! I made it back to Lincoln for the weekend. I had to come back to get some things taken care of. I was looking forward to coming back and seeing family and friends. But, I was apprehensive (fearful) to come back because of the drive. I had not driven outside of Ames in months due to neck and back pain. Also, I am not supposed to drive while on the prescription muscle relaxer. Notice how many times "I" appears in the previous sentences? That was precisely the problem. I was thinking of human resources and getting bogged down in fear based on my reliance on medications and therapies. I did communicate my fears to my family and friends and asked for prayer for the trip. Focusing on God's goodness and faithfulness helped! Instead of worrying, I thanked Him for giving me the gift of pain. He has taught me so much over the past few months-lessons I would not trade for anything (and would not have learned any other way). I did refrain from taking the muscle relaxer the day I drove back. God was faithful! I made it back without anyone having to come and get me! Praise the Lord! Yes, I was on very high doses of both Tylenol and ibuprofen and stopping to stretch as often as possible. The last part of the trip was not pleasant, but by giving thanks to the Lord for His goodness and praying for others, the time passed. The Lord brought me safely home with pain that was still in the relatively "manageable" range. Once home, I could take the muscle relaxer and start to bring things back under better control. I'm so grateful for a loving, supporting family and a God Who has everything under His control! So, it was not in myself that I made it back, but due entirely to God's grace that He brought me back safely!

Strength comes from God

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

This is going to need to continue to be my motto. There is no way I can make it without His help. I have come through several very intense weeks where I am putting in a lot of extra hours at work and there is also a lot going on outside of work. I am struggling with a lot of fear, but trying to trust God fully and not allow my fear to interfere with His perfect plan for me. I need to rest in the Lord and allow Him to have His way. God is sovereign and good no matter how things may appear-I must simply trust!

The Beginning

The title simply refers to my first attempt at a blog! Not sure how much or how often I'll update this...

Today, I'm thanking and praising the Lord for getting me through an intense week. There is no way I would have survived the week without Him upholding me!