Friday, January 4, 2019

Trusting God When the Unexpected Happens

It has been a month since I checked into the hospital for a routine abdominal gastrointestinal surgery. Plan was I'd be in the hospital anywhere from a few days up to a week. Well, at a week post-op, I was still nowhere near ready to go home. All attempts at advancing diet kept ending up with me back on clear liquids only. A PICC line (peripherally inserted central catheter) was placed and parenteral nutrition (nutrients via IV) started. Days stretched out ever longer. I started having more pain, especially at night, running fevers at night. At one and a half weeks post-op, my surgeon stopped by to let me know he was planning emergency exploratory surgery, hoping to have me in the OR within the next hour. Oh my! That surgery was long. I recall very little of the final day before that second surgery, or the initial days afterward. I know I woke with even more IVs and tubes then I'd had beforehand. I was uncomfortable, sore, tired. It turns out I had infection from perforated bowel. My surgeon cleaned it all out, resected part of my bowel. I was in ICU for a week and half. I was sicker than I had known. In the adult inpatient unit, I had been allowed to take myself for walks, IV pole and all. In ICU (even step-down ICU), I was not allowed out of bed without assistance. Early on, I needed assistance, but as tubes slowly were removed, I slowly got stronger, slowly became more able, but still not allowed to do much. By that point, I was getting bored, but still had no energy to actually do anything. TV was only temporary distraction, puzzles took too much thought, reading was too hard to hold the book or focus. That left me with iPod (music) and phone (Facebook, text messages, email, etc.). Even messaging took too much effort at first.

Once I was recovering in ICU, we started marking progress by removal of lines and tubes. At one point I had two IV poles. They later found a pole that would hold all of the IV pumps. We teasingly it called it a Christmas tree. 

IV "Christmas tree"

I loved the visits from my family! One or more of them visited every single day! A friend from church also visited. I was uncomfortable enough and things happened unexpectedly enough that I actually discouraged most visitors other than family as often did not feel up to seeing others. As an extreme introvert, I go into performance mode with visitors and that was too exhausting. Anyway, so grateful for my family! Also so grateful for friends praying, sending notes, sending flowers. One family sent a Christmas tree with lights! It made the room so much more festive and made a great night light. Dad bought ornaments to decorate it.

Christmas Tree!

Christmas Eve, our family had a precious time together in my room in ICU--reading excerpts from prophecy and the Christmas story, singing a Christmas carol, praying together. Earlier in the afternoon my sisters had brought my dad's stocking and the gifts to stuff it with, along with hot cocoa. They kept our tradition going even with me in the hospital.

Christmas Eve sisters' tradition at the hospital

It was hard being in the hospital so long (three weeks) just from perspective of inactivity, loss of muscle, etc. It was even harder being there when normally, I'd be home preparing for Christmas. I had to learn to let go of ideals, refocus on what was important. Apparently, I'd had a bit of a close call, so was grateful to be alive and well cared for, grateful for family coming. 

Christmas morning found me still in ICU, still attached to IVs, still with a PICC line in place, etc. However, the IVs were stopped that morning, and, my surgeon determined I was OK to go home! Best Christmas present ever! When the PICC line was pulled, my nurse, knowing I was curious, asked if I wanted to see it....yes. Crazy to see how long and know that the end was by my heart. 

Going home was exciting, but also a lot of work. I was thin and weak from the difficulties eating, and the time in bed for so long. I had to have help. I stumbled on the second step into the house from the garage. The flight of stairs to my room felt like trying to climb a mountain and I had to hold onto the wall for support. I was independent with some things, but needed help with others. Still, so special to be home for Christmas!

Home for Christmas!

One week later. I saw my surgeon to have staples removed, the retention sutures (precaution for Ehlers-Danlos syndrome weak, compromised skin and tissues) stay another week. He said incision looks good, that I was looking better. He acknowledged he was concerned about me, but glad to hear things were going well at home. 

Eating is advancing slowly. I still cannot handle much volume at a time, so tend to eat small amounts every few hours...including overnight, as hunger wakes me. 

I have been sleeping better since being home. I am still not sleeping through the night, but finally had a couple of nights of not needing a snack in the night. This is good! I am hoping this persists!

One of the specialist appointments that was supposed to take place two weeks post-op first surgery, had to be rescheduled since I was still in the hospital. This was with hematology regarding a genetic mutation involved in clotting. However, while in the hospital, platelets reached critical high, so surgeon called hematology in for that. The Nurse Practitioner recognized me because of my smile--it is my mom's smile. This hematology group is where my mom had her cancer treatment when she treated locally. When I saw the hematologist after I was home from the hospital, instead of shaking my hand when introducing herself, she gave me a hug telling me I looked like my mom. She asked how my dad and siblings were doing, remembering them from Dad going to appointments with my mom and from Mom talking about them. My mom passed away 4.5 years ago but she is still remembered. I look enough like her, with her smile, that they know I am her daughter. 

We all have my mom's smile!

December looked nothing like I had anticipated. I had intentionally scheduled surgery for as soon as possible after Thanksgiving, knowing it would take a while to get eating normalized and wanting to fully enjoy Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas dinner and treats. I had hoped to be back to normal at least with eating by Christmas. However, that did not happen and eating still has a way to go to get back to normal. While some may think there is little good in what happened, I choose to say there is much good. The infection was caught, second surgery took place in time to prevent things getting even worse. I had excellent care while in the hospital. I had supportive family praying and visiting, supportive friends praying, sending notes, sending flowers, etc. I had a chance to stop and reflect on what really matters. It is not the traditions. It is that Christ gave up everything to come to earth to save the very people who caused Him pain. No matter how uncomfortable I was after surgeries, I could look to Christ's example and all that He endured....on my behalf. 

John 3:16 (KJV)
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Isaiah 9:6 (KJV)

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

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