From Jesus Calling by Sarah Young (written as if Jesus was speaking to the reader):
“Do
not resist or run from difficulties in your life. These problems are not
mistakes; they are hand-tailored blessings designed for your benefit and
growth. Embrace all the circumstances that I allow in your life, trusting Me to
bring good out of them. View problems as opportunities to rely more fully on
Me.
When
you start to feel stressed, let these feelings alert you to your need for
Me. Thus, your needs become doorways to
deep dependence on Me and increasing intimacy between us. Although self-sufficiency is acclaimed in the
world, reliance on Me produces abundant living in My kingdom. Thank Me for the difficulties in your life,
since they provide protection from the idolatry of self-reliance.”
My thoughts:
Wow! Pretty much exactly what I needed to be reminded of
right now. I need to step back and allow
God to have full control of my life and trust that He knows what He is doing
and that He is using the tools that He feels will best develop me according to
His plan. I must cheerfully/joyfully
submit/yield/surrender to Him in full trust and humility.
From 31 Days of Praise: Enjoying God Anew by Ruth Myers with Warren Myers (written as if the reader is speaking to God):
“I
choose to thank You for my weaknesses, my infirmities, my inadequacies
(physical, mental, emotional, relational)…for the ways I fall short of what
people view as ideal…for my feelings of helplessness and inferiority, and even
my pain and distresses. What a comfort
to know that You understand the feeling of my weaknesses!...and that in Your
infinite wisdom You have allowed these in my life so that they may contribute
to Your high purposes for me.
Thank
You that many a time my weaknesses cut through my pride and help me walk humbly
with You…and then, as You’ve promised, You give me more grace-You help and
bless and strengthen me. Thank You for
all the ways I’m inadequate, for they prod me to trust in You and not in myself…and
I’m grateful that my adequacy comes from You, the all-sufficient God who is
enough!
Thank
You that I can trust You to remove or change any of my weaknesses and handicaps
and shortcomings the moment they are no longer needed for Your glory, and for
my good, and for the good of other people…and that in the meantime, Your grace
is sufficient for me, for Your strength is made perfect in weakness.” 2
Corinthians 12:7-10.
My thoughts:
Wow! This really fits with the other readings. I need to surrender fully and let God
work-His way.
This however, is not the end of the story for that day. The following is copied from something I wrote that evening:
Processing
I had an amazing quiet time this morning! I was so encouraged, everything was fitting
together and connecting with where I am and what I dealing with at
present. The day started off well, but
somewhere, sometime, somehow things started slipping as one incident followed
another, new issues came up that were entirely unanticipated, old issues
resurfaced, or had new components added to them. Somehow, I went from excited anticipation of
what the day held to a pathetic heap lying in bed and crying the hardest I have
cried in a very long time (and I am not ordinarily a crier). What
happened? Is this just the depths after
the mountain height this morning? I am
writing now in an attempt to stop the tears-not because I have pulled myself
together. Next to
me is a box of Kleenex that is in serious danger of being emptied before I am
done.
Questions: is there something I am missing? Is God trying to teach me something I am not
getting? Am I being too prideful? Thus, it takes repeated and harder
lessons? Is this simply something He is
allowing for now to teach me more complete dependence on Him? I think one of my biggest fears in all of
this, is that instead of bringing Him glory by my response to things, I will
mar what He is trying to accomplish.
Thoughts written today while putting this together:
I don't really have answers to the questions I asked above. It is interesting to look back over the readings and the "crash" that evening. I think the meltdown was a combination of things including the opportunity to practice what I had learned that morning. Looking back, in the midst of the tears, as I was writing and trying to process and make sense of things, I made a list of the major stressors and difficulties I was facing. It was a rather lengthy list. This allowed me to realize that an emotional meltdown was natural under the circumstances and most likely unavoidable when considering everything that was weighing on me. It also allowed me to identify which issues I could take action on myself and which ones I needed help with as well as which ones there is nothing anyone can do about right now. I then sent a couple of emails and set things in motion and was able to put a plan in place to effectively manage some of the issues. Others are still definitely present and will be for awhile. Still others are most likely things I will be dealing with the rest of my life. The permanent difficulties are sometimes the hardest and sometimes the easiest to accept. I came through a period of deep discouragement and frustration, where I acknowledged that God had to still have a plan since I was still dealing with things, but I was failing to see even the tiniest glimpse of what possible good could come out of the circumstances. Then, God showed me some of what He was doing and how He was using me. He used encouraging words from others, He even showed me how some of my ramblings in this blog were reaching others with similar struggles. The realization that God was using me in spite of my less-than-stellar attitude was humbling. It was also the encouragement I needed at the time to keep on going resting in His strength and joy in the midst of the difficulties and to know more fully that truly He is all-sufficient to carry me through the most difficult times.
I realize this was another long post, but could not figure out how to break it up without losing the context of how everything fit together. I am ever amazed at God's love and faithfulness!
