Pumpkin Cookies
Apple Crisp
Peanuts and Candy Corn
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Conflicting Thoughts
Conflicting thoughts really sums up my quiet time readings that I referred to in my previous post. Contrasts are something that usually catch my attention and this was no exception.
I had read from Daily Light first, then my Bible. A little background information may help put things into perspective as well. At my last appointment with the specialist, I had a friend with me to be an extra set of ears. She had asked if chronic pain ever went away and the physician responded that it did not in his experience. This was both hard and good for me to hear. Hard from the perspective that this was a professional opinion that this is what I will be dealing with the rest of my life. Good in that even after nearly 8 years, I keep clinging to the hope that one day the pain will go away and not come back. This gave a more realistic view of the situation. The following are my readings from the morning of October 6, 2010.
From Daily Light:
"The Lord God omnipotent reigneth." "I know that thou canst do everything." "The things which are impossible with men are possible with God." "Abba Father, all things are possible unto thee." "According to your faith be it unto you." "Be strong and courageous, be not afraid nor dismayed, ...there be more with us than with him." (Revelation 19:6, Job 42:2, Luke 18:27, Mark 14:6, Matthew 9:29, 2 Chronicles 32:7.)
My thoughts after reading this: I have no cause for fear. I have a loving heavenly Father Who can do anything. He has allowed/given me the pain. He can take it away/heal me if that is best. If not, He gives me the grace and strength to get through each moment.
My actual overall perspective was that even if the physician thinks of complete healing as impossible, God can do the impossible. God can heal me if He chooses! Yet, maybe I am lacking in faith? One of the verses refers to healing according to measure of faith. I do honestly believe God can do anything. However, after years of living with pain, possibly my faith in the specific healing in this area has weakened? (Another contrast: I keep hoping to one day be free from pain, yet as the years go by, I think of it as less likely.)
From my Bible reading that same morning:
2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (A passage that I have found very encouraging over the years. The timing of it coming right after the earlier readings and thoughts struck me.)
"To keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassingly great revelations, there was given to me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then am I strong."
My thoughts on these verses that morning:
These verses are so encouraging! They fit especially well after reading/writing from Daily Light this morning. God knows what He is doing. I do not need to know his reason/plan. I do need to trust and rest in Him. (I'm kind of afraid to pray for healing as I'm not sure of God's goal with the pain for me.)
After the earlier readings, I was thinking of renewing my prayers for complete healing from the pain. After the later readings, I was afraid to pray for healing. God has done so much in me through it. He must still have some purpose in it. (I am fine with others praying for my healing! I am just uncertain enough to pray for it on my own behalf.)
The contrast between the two sets of verses and corresponding thoughts really caught my attention. This is "conflict" that God can bring into agreement, but that I cannot.
I had read from Daily Light first, then my Bible. A little background information may help put things into perspective as well. At my last appointment with the specialist, I had a friend with me to be an extra set of ears. She had asked if chronic pain ever went away and the physician responded that it did not in his experience. This was both hard and good for me to hear. Hard from the perspective that this was a professional opinion that this is what I will be dealing with the rest of my life. Good in that even after nearly 8 years, I keep clinging to the hope that one day the pain will go away and not come back. This gave a more realistic view of the situation. The following are my readings from the morning of October 6, 2010.
From Daily Light:
"The Lord God omnipotent reigneth." "I know that thou canst do everything." "The things which are impossible with men are possible with God." "Abba Father, all things are possible unto thee." "According to your faith be it unto you." "Be strong and courageous, be not afraid nor dismayed, ...there be more with us than with him." (Revelation 19:6, Job 42:2, Luke 18:27, Mark 14:6, Matthew 9:29, 2 Chronicles 32:7.)
My thoughts after reading this: I have no cause for fear. I have a loving heavenly Father Who can do anything. He has allowed/given me the pain. He can take it away/heal me if that is best. If not, He gives me the grace and strength to get through each moment.
My actual overall perspective was that even if the physician thinks of complete healing as impossible, God can do the impossible. God can heal me if He chooses! Yet, maybe I am lacking in faith? One of the verses refers to healing according to measure of faith. I do honestly believe God can do anything. However, after years of living with pain, possibly my faith in the specific healing in this area has weakened? (Another contrast: I keep hoping to one day be free from pain, yet as the years go by, I think of it as less likely.)
From my Bible reading that same morning:
2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (A passage that I have found very encouraging over the years. The timing of it coming right after the earlier readings and thoughts struck me.)
"To keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassingly great revelations, there was given to me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then am I strong."
My thoughts on these verses that morning:
These verses are so encouraging! They fit especially well after reading/writing from Daily Light this morning. God knows what He is doing. I do not need to know his reason/plan. I do need to trust and rest in Him. (I'm kind of afraid to pray for healing as I'm not sure of God's goal with the pain for me.)
After the earlier readings, I was thinking of renewing my prayers for complete healing from the pain. After the later readings, I was afraid to pray for healing. God has done so much in me through it. He must still have some purpose in it. (I am fine with others praying for my healing! I am just uncertain enough to pray for it on my own behalf.)
The contrast between the two sets of verses and corresponding thoughts really caught my attention. This is "conflict" that God can bring into agreement, but that I cannot.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
What is a Bad Day?
What is a bad day? This is something I have thinking about a lot lately. It seems like right now life is one bad day after another. The bright spots have been my quiet times with the Lord. In fact, these times with the Lord seem brighter and deeper and more encouraging and refreshing than usual. Is this because of the background of pain and discouragement? Or, is it that God is using the "bad" days to show me my utter dependence upon Him? I honestly do not know the answer to these questions. I suspect it is a combination, but primarily the last one. It is so humbling to realize that it takes this degree of pain to make me realize how helpless I am and just how much I need God's grace and strength for everything.
Week 2 of new medication. Last week was awful. This week, the first couple of days were so much better. I was starting to get excited and think maybe we had found something to help break the pattern of ongoing pain. Then came today. What happened today? Not sure...lots of pain is all I know. Pain that refused to respond and left me fighting to focus, fighting tears, simply trying to make it to the end of the day. Lots of prayer...
Was I putting too much reliance on yet another human solution? Maybe? Regardless, the Lord has reminded me yet again that He is in control. I keep talking of pain control, or pain management. The reality is that there is no semblance of control and I am really not managing things. But, God is with me-carrying me. He loves me and desires the best for me-even if it means pain to achieve His purpose. In all, I must trust and rest fully in Him. He is sovereign, loving and good no matter how things may look at times.
My quiet time this morning was good-exciting and thought provoking. Interesting that it came on a day that ended up like today. I will have to post once I get the thoughts a bit more organized...
Week 2 of new medication. Last week was awful. This week, the first couple of days were so much better. I was starting to get excited and think maybe we had found something to help break the pattern of ongoing pain. Then came today. What happened today? Not sure...lots of pain is all I know. Pain that refused to respond and left me fighting to focus, fighting tears, simply trying to make it to the end of the day. Lots of prayer...
Was I putting too much reliance on yet another human solution? Maybe? Regardless, the Lord has reminded me yet again that He is in control. I keep talking of pain control, or pain management. The reality is that there is no semblance of control and I am really not managing things. But, God is with me-carrying me. He loves me and desires the best for me-even if it means pain to achieve His purpose. In all, I must trust and rest fully in Him. He is sovereign, loving and good no matter how things may look at times.
My quiet time this morning was good-exciting and thought provoking. Interesting that it came on a day that ended up like today. I will have to post once I get the thoughts a bit more organized...
Saturday, October 2, 2010
God's Grace is Sufficient-Always!
From Daily Light this evening:
Who maketh thee to differ from another? and what hast thou that thou didst not receive?
By the grace of God I am what I am.--Of his own will begat he us with the word of truth.--It is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy.--Where is boasting then? It is excluded.--Christ Jesus . . . is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption: . . . He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.
It has been a hard day after a long hard several weeks. It is always good to be reminded of where my strength comes from and that I am not sufficient in and of myself. God gives strength and grace to meet each need. He knows the path He has prepared for me and He knows and provides for every need. I must trust Him fully and rest in Him.
I am honestly being stretched far beyond my strength. I have found myself crying to the Lord in the evenings in pain and exhaustion that I simply cannot keep going like this. He gently reminds that He knows that I can't and that I must stop trying and instead rest in Him and allow Him to carry me through. His grace is sufficient!
Who maketh thee to differ from another? and what hast thou that thou didst not receive?
By the grace of God I am what I am.--Of his own will begat he us with the word of truth.--It is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy.--Where is boasting then? It is excluded.--Christ Jesus . . . is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption: . . . He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.
You hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins; wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience: among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others.--Ye are washed, . . . ye are sanctified, . . . ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.
1 COR. 4. 7. 1 Co. 15. 10.--Ja. 1. 18.-- Ro. 9. 16.--Ro. 3. 27.--1 Co. 1. 30, 31. Ep. 2. 1-3.--1 Co. 6. 11.
http://www.mun.ca/rels/restmov/texts/dasc/DLDP1002.HTM
http://www.mun.ca/rels/restmov/texts/dasc/DLDP1002.HTM
~*~
It has been a hard day after a long hard several weeks. It is always good to be reminded of where my strength comes from and that I am not sufficient in and of myself. God gives strength and grace to meet each need. He knows the path He has prepared for me and He knows and provides for every need. I must trust Him fully and rest in Him.
I am honestly being stretched far beyond my strength. I have found myself crying to the Lord in the evenings in pain and exhaustion that I simply cannot keep going like this. He gently reminds that He knows that I can't and that I must stop trying and instead rest in Him and allow Him to carry me through. His grace is sufficient!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)