Saturday, February 2, 2013
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Processing
This was the first week of the semester and it has been an interesting
week. I am still processing a lot of
things. Just as a new semester is
starting and I’m trying to figure out how to balance things with a new schedule,
I learn I have a new health condition (likely chronic) on top of the already
existing chronic health conditions. I feel as
if my body is sabotaging every effort to be productive and live life as
normally as possible. Fully normal is
impossible. There are simply too many
limitations and various therapies required to maintain my optimal level of
function which is still significantly less than my previous normal ability. But, any hopes of things getting better in
the near future came crashing down in light of adding something new rather
than resolving or improving anything already existing. I was honestly really frustrated with my body
much of this week. I released most of the
excess frustration via exercise and as a result set new personal records for
pace in both swimming and walking. I had
interpreted my ability to set new endurance exercise records as an indicator
that the fatigue has lessened somewhat.
However, the past couple of days now there have been indications that I
was overdoing it and actually contributed to a setback. Sigh. No
matter how hard I try to support my body and balance everything in my life, it
seems like I always mess things up and end up making things worse. (See this post for last year's processing of health issues.)
I have already been through the acceptance and grieving processes
as a result of the limitations that accompany chronic pain. However, I have only partially dealt with the
effects of the other chronic conditions (their very existence, specific
limitations they bring, time required to manage things, etc.). I don’t even want to think about having to
deal with yet another new condition. (I’m
getting teary as I type this…so, probably getting some beneficial release and processing
just from writing out my thoughts, feelings, and emotions over things right
now.)
I know God has a purpose and plan in all He allows. I do not need to understand His reasons
now. Instead, I only need to trust Him.
Romans
8:28
King James Version (KJV)
28 And we know that all things work together for good to them
that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Recent Happenings
Here is what I have been up to recently:
~finished MY afghan! It has been in process for 2-3 years but kept being put aside to finish baby afghans for gifts. (Babies don't wait for completion of other projects. Also, my afghan is much larger than the size I make for baby blankets.) As you can see, my afghan matches the carpet very nicely.
~received a full-sized electronic keyboard for Christmas! I have missed playing piano so much. I am so excited to have access to play again!
~rearranged my living room furniture! I never rearrange furniture unless I get something new or get rid of something. The keyboard shown above necessitated some rearranging of my living room.
*Note: as usual, the dates on the photos are wrong. Although, these are only off in the year; add 6 years, and the date is fine. I still cannot remember how to reset the date and still have batteries that don't hold charge very long.
~finished MY afghan! It has been in process for 2-3 years but kept being put aside to finish baby afghans for gifts. (Babies don't wait for completion of other projects. Also, my afghan is much larger than the size I make for baby blankets.) As you can see, my afghan matches the carpet very nicely.
~received a full-sized electronic keyboard for Christmas! I have missed playing piano so much. I am so excited to have access to play again!
~rearranged my living room furniture! I never rearrange furniture unless I get something new or get rid of something. The keyboard shown above necessitated some rearranging of my living room.
Before
After
*Note: as usual, the dates on the photos are wrong. Although, these are only off in the year; add 6 years, and the date is fine. I still cannot remember how to reset the date and still have batteries that don't hold charge very long.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Today
~"Celebrating" birthday/half-birthday with a dear friend--in person!
~Long nap (more than 2 hours)!
~Technically on "break" but working on a grant proposal and facility IRB application for one project and a concept paper for another project.
~Taking time out from writing for a movie/popcorn night with family!
~Long nap (more than 2 hours)!
~Technically on "break" but working on a grant proposal and facility IRB application for one project and a concept paper for another project.
~Taking time out from writing for a movie/popcorn night with family!
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Recent Happenings
Here are few of the major happenings from the past week:
~Pulling my 4th ever (I think) "all-nighter" only a couple of weeks after the previous one I had hoped would be my last. I am now hoping this was the last one, but not going to count on it.
~Finally graduating with a Master of Science in Nutritional Sciences from Iowa State University! This was *only* 1 1/2 years later than intended. Considering the obstacles that presented themselves, I am grateful and excited to have even finished!
~Earning my first B+ since high school. Sigh. :( In light of what else was going on this semester, I am actually very grateful I received a B+. It could have been much worse.
~Discovering new pain management options and tricks. Unfortunately, these have been from necessity.
~Learning it is possible to become overwhelmed from good things as well as from difficulties.
~Looking forward to going back to Lincoln in a few days for an actual break!!!!!
Snow!
Friday, November 30, 2012
No Rest for the Weary
written 11/29/12
OK, so the title is not actually true, but it sure seems that way sometimes. Especially when running on absolutely NO sleep last night. I think this is only my 3rd ever "all-nighter" and I would prefer it be the last. I am too old to lose an entire night of sleep anymore.
So, I have been under an incredible amount of pressure from multiple deadlines. There just has not seemed to be time for everything and I could not figure out what needed to be cut. Hence, cutting sleep last night in an attempt to meet two deadlines that occurred within hours of each other. I met deadlines, but the final products for both were not exactly what I would have preferred had circumstances been different. Still, both went much better than they could have and it is a relief to know that those two deadlines are past and I can now focus on the next one (Monday). No rest for the weary...sigh.
In spite of the pressure, I still intentionally chose to have my usual quiet time this morning. I know from experience that if I skip it, I will regret it the rest of the day no matter how badly I think I need the time for something else. The day simply does not go as well if not started with focus on and time with God. God rewarded me for my decision by providing just what I needed to be encouraged with! Plus, taking a break from the task actually allows me to approach things more effectively when I come back to the task. This is something I am still learning to better and more effectively incorporate.
Excerpts from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young
"Let Me infuse My Peace into your innermost being. As you sit quietly in the Light of My Presence, you can sense Peace growing within you. This is not something you accomplish through self-discipline or willpower; it is opening yourself to receive My blessing. In this age of independence, people find it hard to acknowledge this neediness. However, I have taken you along a path that has highlighted your need for Me; placing you in situations where your strengths were irrelevant and your weaknesses were glaringly evident. You have learned to thank Me for hard times and difficult journeys, trusting that through them I accomplish My best work. You have realized that needing Me is key to knowing Me intimately, which is the gift above all gifts."
Excerpts and thoughts from 31 Days of Praise by Ruth Myers with Warren Myers
"I praise You for the gracious way You infuse me with inner strength through Christ...and so I'm ready for anything You want me to do, and I'm equal to anything You allow to happen in my life. Thank You that I can throw the whole weight of my anxieties on You, for I am Your personal concern." I must let go of burdens, inadequacies, self-dependence. Instead, rest in God's presence. Joyfully depend on God.
My thoughts from both of the previous: just what I needed to be reminded of-I'm overwhelmed, pressured, tired and discouraged. But, God knows me and carries me.
The day ahead of me looked impossible. I was unable to take my usual approaches to these types of situations. Ordinarily, not being able to use familiar methods leaves me apprehensive of results. I had to trust that God would enable me to perform to the best of my ability under the less-than-ideal circumstances and that He would give me the peace and strength needed. I could tell others were praying for me last night. I was more focused, more calm and more productive than normal even though also very tired and under lots of pressure. It was amazing! Once I had met deadlines this afternoon, there was noticeable release from the feelings of pressure and I actually was able to rest both physically and mentally. God is faithful! He gives strength and rest when needed. In contrast to the statement in the title of this post, there is rest for the weary; it comes from God.
OK, so the title is not actually true, but it sure seems that way sometimes. Especially when running on absolutely NO sleep last night. I think this is only my 3rd ever "all-nighter" and I would prefer it be the last. I am too old to lose an entire night of sleep anymore.
So, I have been under an incredible amount of pressure from multiple deadlines. There just has not seemed to be time for everything and I could not figure out what needed to be cut. Hence, cutting sleep last night in an attempt to meet two deadlines that occurred within hours of each other. I met deadlines, but the final products for both were not exactly what I would have preferred had circumstances been different. Still, both went much better than they could have and it is a relief to know that those two deadlines are past and I can now focus on the next one (Monday). No rest for the weary...sigh.
In spite of the pressure, I still intentionally chose to have my usual quiet time this morning. I know from experience that if I skip it, I will regret it the rest of the day no matter how badly I think I need the time for something else. The day simply does not go as well if not started with focus on and time with God. God rewarded me for my decision by providing just what I needed to be encouraged with! Plus, taking a break from the task actually allows me to approach things more effectively when I come back to the task. This is something I am still learning to better and more effectively incorporate.
Excerpts from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young
"Let Me infuse My Peace into your innermost being. As you sit quietly in the Light of My Presence, you can sense Peace growing within you. This is not something you accomplish through self-discipline or willpower; it is opening yourself to receive My blessing. In this age of independence, people find it hard to acknowledge this neediness. However, I have taken you along a path that has highlighted your need for Me; placing you in situations where your strengths were irrelevant and your weaknesses were glaringly evident. You have learned to thank Me for hard times and difficult journeys, trusting that through them I accomplish My best work. You have realized that needing Me is key to knowing Me intimately, which is the gift above all gifts."
Excerpts and thoughts from 31 Days of Praise by Ruth Myers with Warren Myers
"I praise You for the gracious way You infuse me with inner strength through Christ...and so I'm ready for anything You want me to do, and I'm equal to anything You allow to happen in my life. Thank You that I can throw the whole weight of my anxieties on You, for I am Your personal concern." I must let go of burdens, inadequacies, self-dependence. Instead, rest in God's presence. Joyfully depend on God.
My thoughts from both of the previous: just what I needed to be reminded of-I'm overwhelmed, pressured, tired and discouraged. But, God knows me and carries me.
The day ahead of me looked impossible. I was unable to take my usual approaches to these types of situations. Ordinarily, not being able to use familiar methods leaves me apprehensive of results. I had to trust that God would enable me to perform to the best of my ability under the less-than-ideal circumstances and that He would give me the peace and strength needed. I could tell others were praying for me last night. I was more focused, more calm and more productive than normal even though also very tired and under lots of pressure. It was amazing! Once I had met deadlines this afternoon, there was noticeable release from the feelings of pressure and I actually was able to rest both physically and mentally. God is faithful! He gives strength and rest when needed. In contrast to the statement in the title of this post, there is rest for the weary; it comes from God.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)